Introduce yourself with a little pertinent info and maybe a recent photo.

Views: 4971

Replies to This Discussion

Hello everyone,

My name is Telliyah and I am a 22 year old college student in Michigan. Dating for me anyway has always been hard because of my standards, but probably more because I am a super shy person as well. It would be nice to one day meet someone who thinks similar to me one of these days.
Yea Michigan GO BLUE!!!
I'm a heretic from Illinois.  :-D
Hmm, so what sort of standards do most of the available men usually run afoul of?

The standards that I usually run afoul of are: (in order of frequency)


1) I'm not good-looking enough.

2) I'm not tall enough.

3) I want to have children. (And she doesn't.)

4) I'm not a member of the right political party.

5) I don't like the right sports.

6) I don't live in the right town.

7) I'm not rich enough.

8) I want to get married eventually. (And she doesn't.)

9) I'm not of the right religion.

10) I'm not of the right race.

11) I'm divorced. (Many women won't date divorced men, even if she's divorced herself.)

12) I don't eat the right foods.

13) I don't have the right job. 


Managing to successfully navigate all the possible requirements is extremely difficult. Consequently I rarely make it through without getting caught on one or more of her standards.

Wow, what's up with the second half of the parenthetical portion of #11?  That's kind of messed up.

I would agree.  And I've never gotten a rational explanation for it.  But it nonetheless seems to be true. A certain proportion of women simply will NOT date divorced guys. Under any circumstances. The phrase I've heard them use is that divorced men are "damaged goods".  And I've asked, "How can you say that when you're divorced yourself?" The only answer I've ever gotten was "Oh, it's different for women."


It's not a religious thing, either; this has occurred with women who were non-theist. 

So, yes, it's seriously messed up.  And yet I've run into it several times.  (shrug) Your guess is as good as mine.


And here I thought lots of women enjoyed stealing men from each other.  Weird.

Ah, but if you are already divorced then you are free for the taking: no one to steal from. ;-)


I think it has something to do with the idea that the man is always at fault in a divorce.  Therefore, divorced men are undesirable.


I went out with one girl about four or five times before she thought to ask if I had ever been married before.  I told her that I had, briefly, but it was over and done with, over 10 years ago, with no kids, and no other baggage.


You should have seen her.  Her face fell like she had just discovered that she was dating a serial killer.  She literally started crying, right there in the restaurant.  I'll never forget, she said, "But you seemed so nice!"  She finally just got up and walked out, wouldn't talk to me again.

Hmmmmmm, sounds similar to the current unemployment problem.  I've seen dozens of news stories about companies who flat-out post on job listings that anyone who's been unemployed for more than 90 days doesn't have to bother applying.


Wow, that one girl is pretty fucked up.  What the hell?

And I bet you didn't do a very good job of getting her turned back around.  In the same situation, I think my mind would just lock up and give me nothing.  That's such a bizarre logical jump, to think that anyone who has been divorced is a monster.  Where would you even begin to address the misconception?

Exactly.  Kind of a circular argument.  Fortunately it's not universal, maybe 1 out of 10, I'd guess.  But I have had others suddenly stop talking to me as soon as I mentioned that I was divorced years before.  So it's a reasonably common prejudice.


On the other hand, it's no more weird than refusing to date someone because they don't live in the "right" town.  Or have the "right" job, or like the "right" sports.  It's amazing how little tolerance people have over trivial things.

I can understand the desire for financial stability, but what do you mean by the 'right' job?  Which field do you work in?


© 2018   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service