The standards that I usually run afoul of are: (in order of frequency)
1) I'm not good-looking enough.
2) I'm not tall enough.
3) I want to have children. (And she doesn't.)
4) I'm not a member of the right political party.
5) I don't like the right sports.
6) I don't live in the right town.
7) I'm not rich enough.
8) I want to get married eventually. (And she doesn't.)
9) I'm not of the right religion.
10) I'm not of the right race.
11) I'm divorced. (Many women won't date divorced men, even if she's divorced herself.)
12) I don't eat the right foods.
13) I don't have the right job.
Managing to successfully navigate all the possible requirements is extremely difficult. Consequently I rarely make it through without getting caught on one or more of her standards.
I would agree. And I've never gotten a rational explanation for it. But it nonetheless seems to be true. A certain proportion of women simply will NOT date divorced guys. Under any circumstances. The phrase I've heard them use is that divorced men are "damaged goods". And I've asked, "How can you say that when you're divorced yourself?" The only answer I've ever gotten was "Oh, it's different for women."
It's not a religious thing, either; this has occurred with women who were non-theist.
So, yes, it's seriously messed up. And yet I've run into it several times. (shrug) Your guess is as good as mine.
Ah, but if you are already divorced then you are free for the taking: no one to steal from. ;-)
I think it has something to do with the idea that the man is always at fault in a divorce. Therefore, divorced men are undesirable.
I went out with one girl about four or five times before she thought to ask if I had ever been married before. I told her that I had, briefly, but it was over and done with, over 10 years ago, with no kids, and no other baggage.
You should have seen her. Her face fell like she had just discovered that she was dating a serial killer. She literally started crying, right there in the restaurant. I'll never forget, she said, "But you seemed so nice!" She finally just got up and walked out, wouldn't talk to me again.
Hmmmmmm, sounds similar to the current unemployment problem. I've seen dozens of news stories about companies who flat-out post on job listings that anyone who's been unemployed for more than 90 days doesn't have to bother applying.
Wow, that one girl is pretty fucked up. What the hell?
And I bet you didn't do a very good job of getting her turned back around. In the same situation, I think my mind would just lock up and give me nothing. That's such a bizarre logical jump, to think that anyone who has been divorced is a monster. Where would you even begin to address the misconception?
Exactly. Kind of a circular argument. Fortunately it's not universal, maybe 1 out of 10, I'd guess. But I have had others suddenly stop talking to me as soon as I mentioned that I was divorced years before. So it's a reasonably common prejudice.
On the other hand, it's no more weird than refusing to date someone because they don't live in the "right" town. Or have the "right" job, or like the "right" sports. It's amazing how little tolerance people have over trivial things.