I couldn't. I've never had a relationship with a woman who was very religious. I think it would be a constant source of disagreement. OTOH, Darwin was married to a religious woman for most of his life, so it does happen. What has been your experience?

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I had a girlfriend who was not religious, but she had superstitious beliefs. She was a fatalist. When ever something dramatic, untoward, or awful would happen she'd say "everything happens for a reason" or "whatever happens is what should be," implying that somehow there would be a silver lining. I would always point out that what she was saying was meaningless, circular, and just dumb. Somehow it made her feel better to think random events have an ultimate purpose.
I couldn't do it because it is important for me to completely respect the person I'm with. I can't possibly respect a belief in sky men.
Aliens are far more likely to exist than sky men. :-)
I was married to a religious man. Never again.

When we would have disagreements he would disparage my morality because I believe "we're only bags of meat" and thus am totally without a moral compass. He also flew into a rage over any atheist or religious discussions I posted on the Internet.
I did for about three years, and was engaged for about the last ten months of it.

In the beginning, it made for some interesting conversation. I attended church with her for about a year, though toward the end, when it was apparent I wasn't converting, the members of the congregation gave me the cold shoulder. They also began making subtle (and some not so subtle) suggestions she dump me because I wasn't Christian (not atheist, non-Christian).

Maybe it was the Darwin-fish-eating-Jesus-fish I had on the back of my car. That I parked in their church parking lot. Every sunday. Maybe.

In the end, that year only served to reaffirm my stance on religion.

After that, we just tried to ignore the religious differences. This works for a while, but isn't a long term solution. It only comes back stronger. It wasn't the the only factor that killed the relationship, but it certainly played a part.
It is difficult, but many people stay together even with drastically differing views of reality. I read "The Reluctant Mr. Darwin" by David Quammen. In the book Darwin's relationship is described as very strong, even though Emma believed and he didn't. She believed he was going to hell. Sometimes people can just accept that the person they love lives in a different reality, and leave it alone. I don't think I could, not if she was very openly religious, at least not now because I'm becoming more outspoken about my atheism.
Definitely not! Especially if they are very outspoken about their religion. I have to disagree that it would probably be a constant disagreement. I'm not sure I agree with the "opposites attract" thing. I love Heavy Metal. I can't imagine dating someone who likes rap!!! So the same would go for beliefs.

I wouldn't mind dating some religious if they were not outspoken. I like to debate and talk about things, but if it is going to cause a fight, then no thanks!
Someone who is religious is fine. About 1/2 of my old girlfriends were somewhat religious and that rarely was even a cause for a passing conversation let alone anything to dwell on.

Yet, the more superstitious and supernaturalist someone is, the less I can respect them. Call me picky, but I want to know the person I spend time with is interested in this world and can distinguish fantasy from reality.

So, no new-age crystal power people, no conspiracy people, and no turn or burn people. Life is too short to wallow in miserable insanity.

That said, if they kid about wild and crazy things and are inventive -- they 'get it' intellectually and can flip ideas like a chain saw juggler -- that's very attractive.
I used to date a very religious guy (Roman Catholic) who would drag me to church.

When we parted ways we decided to be friends, but then I turned lesbian and he turned born-again. Now he keeps sending me forwarded email messages about jesus, etcetera. he's on a mission to save my dyke soul. Proselytizing ought to be a crime.

I agree. My favorite aunt is a lifelong Lesbian and I hate how my family treats her. They still talk down to her like she's a child, and she's 51. It infuriates me.

Proselytizing was mentioned by the founders as something that they wanted to outlaw, but no one could agree on just how to do that. When the Bill of Rights came out, it has as the First - freedom of speech, which would appear to weigh in on the side of allowing it, but Franklin and others argued that it did not.

I agree that it does not.

One does not have freedom of speech to yell Fire in a Hospital or Theater. To tell jokes that panic people and cause accidents. To perpetrate fraud, crimes, or harm by misdirection. These are TORTS.

The TORT of harm by misdirection could easily be applied to Religion.

I look forward to testing that hypothesis in court cases in the future after I complete my Juris Doctorate.

Yes, if they were Satanist, Buddhist, Egyptian, or invented their own religion. I can respect someone who views religion as a deist, naturalist, or existential belief system. Buddhism is a religion, but it has no 'god.'

No, if they are of the "one god" ilk, they can die in a fire. I see nothing as more voluntarily appropriate for segregation than Religion, and you're talking to a Jew. Yes, I'm an atheist Jew. Apparently Judaism is the only religion where one is not allowed to NOT be a member. - David Cross.

It's also a cultural heritage, thankfully. I have no intention of going to Temple.
i'm with Rhett on this one... i think if someone truly has courage of their convictions it would be very hard to intellectually justify dating a believer. i mean... inevitably world view is going to become a very important factor, especially if children ever come into the picture (either planned or unplanned).

i could never justify engaging in a serious relationship with a woman who believed in the tooth fairy, and more importantly could even potentially be in the position to even be half responsible for the intellectual rearing of a child in the future. just not acceptable for an adult in 2009 that has access to books and the ability to read.




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