Ruth, you have spoken my mind, or rather our mind, since we can't really claim that it belongs to us, as we have no control over it. It is the universe's words and the universe's mind. We are only confused to think that it is ours because of the limit of our senses, memories and attention. These limits create the boundaries of "me" and "you," but there is no separation really, and there is no special "soul" or "spirit" or "will" or what have you, that can reach into causal reality and change it at whim.
I read articles all the time about experiments that explain the underlying process of some aspect of human behavior, thought or action, and the more I read, the more words like "choice" and "will" and "control" become ridiculous to me. They don't even make any sense.
There will be a robot on Jeopardy soon, playing aginst the all-time winners, and it will be capable of giving them a run for their money, perhaps besting them. That's coming pretty close to passing the Touring test, and I think to myself 'when we have a robot that is indistinguishable from a human, how will we then cling to ideas like choice and control? If it look like a turd, smells like a turd and floats like a turd, that doesn't mean that unicorns are playing poker on Venus. Choice and control will become totally unfounded notions that have no basis in the observations we have made. In my opinion, they already are unfounded, but because we can't explain absolutely everything to everybody yet, people insist on clinging to this arcane notion because the implications of being slaves drives them crazy.
I suspect that, not only do we not have control over anything we think or do, but we don't even have control over whether we exist. Since we already exist, we will go on existing in one form or another, and since existence seems to be causal, we will go on doing only as we must....forever. It's an end-of-the-line conclusion that most people hate to make, but I too think it is probably correct.
However, I also suspect that, if we can invent virtual realities and convert ourselves to digital beings (or quantum beings, since we will have quantum computers soon), we might be able to have something accurately considered "control" inside of those virtual realities. And I suspect that technology will be available in our lifetimes. We'll see.