Amusing Responses You Got From People When You Came Out About Being An Atheist.

I thougt It would be interesting to see some of the more comical responses people have received upon coming out. I'll start things off with my favorite.

I was about 16 and a guy in class found out that I didn't believe in god and he came up to me and asked

Boy: "So do you really not believe in god"

Me: "No."

Boy: "So.... You worship the devil?!"

I got this one in one form or another many times..... Gotta love the bible belt! :)


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My daughter told me she was an atheist.  Since I was not at that point myself yet, I didn't say much.  I didn't try to get her to believe.  It really opened my eyes, and made me admit to myself the things I wouldn't look at before, and be more logical and reasonable about what I believed. 

The whole, where do you get your morals from without the bible thing was one of the first places I saw reason.  I always felt that having a get out of hell free card made no sense.  I also asked someone once why we(people) were supposed to forgive each other with nothing more than an I am sorry from others, yet the god of the bible demanded someone die in order for god to forgive. 

Anyway, I just get asked if something bad happened to make me lose faith, or if I am mad at god. 

When I was about eight my mother had some of her friends from church over for coffee.

I was playing in the living room and I overheard "Shh he doesn't know he isn't real yet"

I yelled back "I figured out he wasn't real last year, so don't worry"

My mom answered back "Who told you Santa wasn't real, did one of your friends"

Of course I was talking about god, I folded and said "last Christmas I figured it out but I didn't want to hurt your feelings"

It was two decades longer before I filled her in on my real feelings.

A common one is "But you HAVE to believe in SOMETHING!"


... my usual response is "I do believe in something, reality"

I like that response.  My response has always been the incredulous double blink. They almost always get pissed at that point and leave.  (I never was any good at poker.)

Les Athees Napoleoneinne - VikingTrance


Je m'ennuie parce que je ne connaissais pas de chrétiens fondamentalistes. Mes amis sont indifférents à mon athéisme. Je n'ai pas une histoire humoristique de partager avec vous.

Peter said: "Sorry, I don't know any fundamentalist christians. My friends don't care at about my atheism. I have no humorous past to share with you."



My favorite response:

Me: "I'm an atheist"

Close friend of mine: "What's that?"

Me: "I don't believe in God."

Friend: "Bullshit, you're a christian."



Runner up:

Me: "Yes, (Name deleted.) I'm an Atheist."

Name Deleted: "You're the last person I'd expect to be one."

Me: "...."

Name deleted: "You just seem to be a good person."




Gotta love when the town you live in is 90% Catholic.

    I guess I must be doing something wrong. When I have told people that I am an athiest I get no response at all. Many of my coworkers are very religious, but they accept me for who I am and my lack of belief. I wear a FSM pin on my uinform and the only response so far was from the daughter of a patient who said she knew her father was in good hands.
Damn misspelled atheist, haven't finished my 1st cup of tea for the day. My brains still at home in bed.
It depends on where you are and who you associate with. I live in a town where 90 percent of the kids are sheltered, and are only exposed to one belief. Ergo, most of my friends are religious, and most likely have a problem with me being an atheist. I'm long over it. It's depressing, but that seems to be the general idea in small towns.

Me and my mom were talking about how souls and heaven and stuff

Me: So you think once we die, everything in our brain just magically gets teleported to some place in the sky, where we "live" forever?

Mom: No, not our brains, our spirits. You know, us.

Me: But "we" are our brains. Every memory and aspect of our personality is in our brain.

Mom: You're thinking way to hard about this.

I facepalmed in my head


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