Suddenly all hell broke loose in the sky. i dropped my frappe and looked up. "oh sh--!" I started to say,

but I didn't finish the expletive because I saw God sitting on a huge throne with walls of fire coming from

the back. Wow! I could turn some heads and win some races with that ride! Jesus is beside God, but his 

throne is smaller with less fire.

Leading the procession, are thousands of angels singing and blowing trumpets. There is lightning 

everywhere and meteors are falling to earth without burning.

Without any warning, people start rising into the clouds. Some of them are alive and some are smelly

skeletons. I feel myself being lifted up with the elect. Does God know I'm an atheist? What if he gets pissed

and drops me? Some people are praying or singing with the angels. Dammit, I can't remember a single 

hymn or prayer. Maybe I should keep quiet.

We're getting pretty high off the ground now and I'm feeling cold. Did God bring us up here to freeze us 

to death? Should I ask for a coat? And if we go much higher, we'll need oxygen.

This rapture business has been going on for a while now. The sun and moon have disappeared, so I have

no idea whet time it is. I'm still cold, but I can still breathe, so I'm ok. But I'm feeling really hungry. I hit on

a great idea. Since there so many people (living and dead) mybe Jusus won't know who is requesting

food. Who knows? Maybe he'll show some compassion. So I take the chance. "Hey, Jesus", I

shout,"do you have any of that bread and fish left?"

Oops! Maybe my idea wasn't so great after all. Jesus looks directly at me. I start falling at a

breath taking speed. I do manage to contort my body and kiss my ass goodbye..just before 

dropping on my bed.

Views: 145

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Was this bed in a mental hospital by chance lolol.

It might have been for anyone gullible enough to believe in the rapture.




Update Your Membership :



Nexus on Social Media:

© 2020   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: The Nexus Group.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service