Are you open about being an atheist or are you in the closet?

I am semi in the closet. I do have to admit that I am not comfortable discussing my views with just anyone. I am the type that wants everyone to like me (such a fault I have!) and I am nervous someone will think I am a bad person. Even when I find someone who is passionate about science, I still try not to venture down that avenue. So lucky to have you guys!

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Steven, OUCH! What a horrible experience and one you do not deserve. However, what is, is. If your family and friends can't accept your carefully thought out reasons for changing your mind about no god/s or spirits exist, then it seems to me you have a couple of options. 

1. Do nothing. Continue to feel lonely and abandoned. 

2. Give in to their demands to follow their wisdom.

3. Think your decision through with some people you trust and who trust you to make a decision that is healthy for you. Watch out for the people trying to catch you on the rebound. 

4. Make your decision, stand tall, confident, competent, assured of your decision being right for you and develop a tough skin ... hear what they have to say if you choose to and stand proud in your knowledge that comes to you through critical thinking. 

5. There are 7,000,000,000 human beings on this planet and you don't have to receive your sense of community from those who attack you, un-friend you, return your gifts, and no longer communicate with them. 

If your experience will be anything like mine, it will not be long before those who rejected your decision begin to make little "inquiries", to ask simple questions, i.e. "How do you have a moral code if there is no god?" or "Do you think humans evolved from monkeys?" or "Do you think the earth is billions of years old?" "Aren't you afraid of going to hell?" "Why don't you take Pascal's wager?"

It will take time to develop the answers to these and other questions, but the questions are the beginning of breaking through for them ... if they ever will. 

Here are a few videos that may help you become clearer. And remember, being atheist means nothing more or less than not believing in god/s. 

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Lawrence Karauss

Richard Feynman on God      

Brian Greene

I wish you well in your exploration. Know that your mind has a natural questioning quality that is part of your gift of life; don't squander it by believing other people's beliefs, think through to   your own solution. 

Saying I'm an atheist is the easy part, but it's been hard on some of my loved ones that I don't want to participate in their little Christian reindeer games, so to speak.  It helps not to be the only atheist in the family though, so I'm not viewed as some sort of rebellious teenager raging against conformity.  Most of my family can see that I have a viewpoint that is shared by many famous and ordinary people.

Also, I try to keep my atheism very low-key when I go on dates, talk to friends and strangers, etc.  I've met a lot of Christians and Muslims at work and elsewhere who identify themselves as Catholic, Mormon, Muslim, etc., but don't see a conflict with dating or being friends or partners with an atheist.  I think that's the effect of non-believers and atheists being increasingly open, but also vigilant to point out that atheism is not a synonym for devil-worshipper, anarchist or cynical amoralist.  I've found that to a lot of people who still believe, the message is getting through.

David, I had the same difficulty with religious celebrations so I created my own and invited others to join me, i.e. Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice, Autumn Equinox, birthdays, anniversaries, and stuff like that. Our biggest celebration is Autumn Equinox because travel is easy and safer at that time of year, we harvest my garden with feasting, and we note the days will start getting shorter. Winter in the north is miserable driving and flying so I hibernate and read and write. Spring is a very busy time with planting and getting things growing well, summer usually has camping and other events taking priority for families. 

Very open about my atheism. I recently started a new job were it is mostly right wing Christians. At first I didn't let them know I was an atheist, I wanted them to get to know me first. Now that they know, I have had no problems. We even get to talk about religion now that it is in the new so much lately, with the republican debates and the Obama Care/Catholic contraception uproar. I am even a member of the newly formed CFI-Humanists of Salem, Oregon. I have a lot of online atheist friends, but it would be nice to have more in-person atheist friends. Hopefully, the group will grow and we can make a positive impression on the community.

I don't hide the fact that I'm an atheist to my friends on FaceBook and a lot of them post religious comments. I don't antagonize them, but I do welcome any discussion on the topic.

Be a proud atheist.

Good luck.

When I get sappy stuff from religious family and friends I thank them and send them some quote or article about atheism. I hate those "made-up-stories-that wring-one's-heart. A report of suffering or overcoming is welcome, but a lot of it is just obviously creations of someone's overactive imagination. 

If and when the topic comes up, I'm very open about it. In most European countries, it isn't
a big deal to be honest... When I read the posts from people from America, I feel sad for them. I could never live in a environment like that...

Greg, The principles upon which USA was founded are grand and glorious, but as a nation we never lived up to the words. Washington, Jefferson, etc. owned slaves, after slavery ended, discrimination continues to this day. But the echoes of freedom, justice, equality of opportunity reside in our minds and are worthy principles. Instead of going toward those noble ideals, we seem to be caught in an avalanche of ownership and property rights, with little thought of people and their rights to fairness and justice.  

Therefore, we cannot remain silent! or acquiescent! or obedient! and need to be making a lot of noise, marching in streets, registering voters, and praising the true heroes of our nation (Bradley Manning).

There are so many issues that need repair and replacement, and one cannot do all of it, so I am focusing on violence in the home and violence in the military-industrial complex. I go to bed weary from working on just that one topic. 

Greg, I have the same impression. While I found a lot of people angry with the USA's policies, I was treated very well, even though I travelled mostly alone or with an interpreter. Not many of my generation seem interested in history ... I mean real history, not the propaganda stuff that comes through movies and TV. I seriously doubt kids get the stories of greed and domination. Extreme patriotism grates on me and when I hear people say, "God bless America" i ask if they could include a blessing for the innocents of bombed out villages. 

What countries have you been to? Were you in the military? 

Greg, Exactly! Just because we claim to be BEST doesn't mean we are. I am so glad to talk with you as you have been in countries other than USA and know what others' think of us, how others live, and can understand that differences are good. I am becoming more convinced that diversity is a high value and your reference to one kind of corn is a perfect example. When I lived in Texas I tried to grow corn and had to use so many chemicals to kill bugs and fungi, it wan't fit for human consumption. How will we manage when a really powerful bug or fungus attacks all our corn, or wheat, or apples?
As to religion ... it seems to turn humans into warring factions instead of communities of diversity.  

Me neither!

My immediate family knows and they aren't taking it well. I hear the same crap repeatedly about how I need to repent and how I'm going to hell blah blah blah. That hasn't worked for seven years and its not going to work now. The only thing that will convince me is full blown proof, I need to see some ressurections and some divine power in today's day.

My situation is unique I suppose, I've always been an atheist (that's not the unique part), I was born that way. I'll save you the details, suffice it to say ...I was the only atheist in my family, but my family took the concept of personal belief seriously, emphasis on personal.

I was born in Canada, grew up in Canada and lived all but 2+ of my (almost …'bout 6 weeks to go) 50 years on this planet in Canada. I never had a reason to hide it, or to be overt about it either, though I probably deconverted more than my share of Christians and Muslims in the last few decades I lived in Eastern Ontario/Western Quebec.

...Mostly by discussing it with them, not debating it with them. Of course, this was mostly a meat-world thing, not "online". Though I've turned a few people online,'s a lot harder though.

I pick my battles, by that I mean, ...I only bother with the "soft-sell" with fence sitters, mostly people who only self-identify as an adherent because their family did. Y'know? Those who haven't actually read about, studied or actively worshipped. It's great to here someone say, "Y'know? You're right, I am an atheist."

A few "deconversion" rules of thumb...

Know your audience, treat 'em accordingly, never say anything you can't back-up, ...and remember,'s pointless to be unreasonable when trying to reason with reasonable people. The most important rule: You can't reason with an emotional conviction, ...don't bother, it never works.

A little over 2 years ago, I moved to North Carolina. Strangers and passing acquaintances assume you're a Christian

I don't hide my beliefs from anybody I know well, but I'm slow to bring it up. And, only with people who I've gotten to know well enough that there's at least the seed of a friendship trust/respect.

Know your audience... Now, it's not just soft-sell,'s subtle-sell.

One of the first things I did when I got here was going online and checking out the local Meetup Groups, and I found FACT.

...and picked my battles there.

But, this is bible-belt, …churches on every corner. I don't make myself a target, that's for sure.

I have experienced the, "You're …[gasp!] …an ATHEIST?!?", but, I had to leave Canada to see it first hand.


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