What's the BEST line you NEVER used on a Christian but wanted to REEELY bad...?



My fundie ex-mother-in-law once handed me a "letter from God", it was a project their pastor had given them, to write a hypothetical letter from God to themselves, and what they imagined God would say to them and about them, what advice God would give, etc.


It was all pretty mundane stuff, hardly worth commenting on, but the first thought that entered my head (but did not pass my lips) was...


"For the creator of the universe, God can't spell worth a damn...."


Had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting that out...





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I was arguing with a Christian one day and she said "If there was no God, then nothing should exist.  Where is this void?"


I almost replied "Between your ears", but I thought better of it.

damn that would've been good
gooooooooooood one!
I 'resisted the urge just recently to tell my in-laws that "If they want me to believe in a god they will have to come up with something better than a dead jew on a stick"!!
This evoked such a powerful visual image that I laughed for a full five minutes. Glad I had finished my coffee by then or I'd have been cleaning it off my monitor screen!
Oh... can I use that one?
pwned! Lmao

I sometimes like to jack around with Christians and say "One of the men I admire most died on a cross."

(their eyes light up, all expectantly)

"y'know, Spartacus..."



That was only in the movie. In real life he died in battle but Hollywood can't leave reality alone.



Well this doesn't count as something I didn't say, cuz I said it. But one day a coworker anonymously left a book on my car. Now, having been raised Jewish I had no idea what The Good News was, but as soon as I opened it I figured it out. The next day I came into work shouting, "hey guys, I've got good news!" Then showed them the book. Nobody thought it was funny, but I did figure out who it was from by the look on their face.




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