The World's Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

bit my tongue, but...

What's the BEST line you NEVER used on a Christian but wanted to REEELY bad...?

example:

My fundie ex-mother-in-law once handed me a "letter from God", it was a project their pastor had given them, to write a hypothetical letter from God to themselves, and what they imagined God would say to them and about them, what advice God would give, etc.

It was all pretty mundane stuff, hardly worth commenting on, but the first thought that entered my head (but did not pass my lips) was...

"For the creator of the universe, God can't spell worth a damn...."

Had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting that out...

--JJR

2 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Aggiememenon on March 30, 2011 at 6:41am

You should totally have gone for the Futurama angle, a la Hubert Farnsworth..."Good News, everyone!" ;-)

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ronin on March 29, 2011 at 11:33am

A friend of my son was over to the house the other day and asked me "Do you have jesus in your heart?". I did not want to start anything with this kid so I held my response. "So that's what this feeling is. I thought it was the pepperoni pizza."

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on March 29, 2011 at 11:47am

Wow, who is your son hanging out with?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ronin on March 30, 2011 at 12:51am

Actually my son is all atheist. This kid he knows is a real anomaly. Loves sci-fi, surfing, is very literate but has this jesus thing. His dad was a real piece of work (praise the lord)
so now that he's gone maybe the kid will come around.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on March 30, 2011 at 5:53am

Oh, a good response just hit me for yours - Do you have reason in your brain?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ted E Bear on August 31, 2011 at 10:46am

Is that not how Elvis died, on the toilet, with too much Jesus built up in his heart?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on March 30, 2011 at 8:24am

Well, shame on me, but I DIDN'T bite my tongue when I told the JW visiting my house that I was an atheist. She responded with surprise and asked me if I had always been an atheist or if something happened to me to make me an atheist.

My response: "Yeah - common sense."

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by gillia tsai on November 7, 2011 at 12:17am

gooooooooooooood one!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Aggiememenon on April 8, 2011 at 7:59pm

Reminds me of t-shirts I've seen...."I found Jesus...he was behind the couch the whole time!", etc.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by gillia tsai on November 7, 2011 at 12:20am

Reminds me of a burglar who was warned by the house owner's parrot: "Beware of jesus" every time the burglar stole an item & then at the door before he left the house was jesus, the bulldog.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by AgeOfAtheists14 on April 4, 2011 at 1:43pm

LOL, yeah, damn shame; we don't tell them "come to our group meetup; we need the money!" ferfxsake; I always pull if you voted for Bush in 2000 stop yer whining. ?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Lauren Podolak on April 4, 2011 at 2:05pm

I had a regular customer that was a pastor. He gave me literature all the time (which was put in the circular file). At work, I always tried very hard to avoid every discussion of religion or belief, but with this person, it was very difficult keeping my mouth shut.

One day, the week before easter, the pastor came in and asked me if I would be in church this sunday. I replied no. He asked why not? I replied " I don't need it"

That was the last time he ever said anything to me regarding religion.