What's the BEST line you NEVER used on a Christian but wanted to REEELY bad...?



My fundie ex-mother-in-law once handed me a "letter from God", it was a project their pastor had given them, to write a hypothetical letter from God to themselves, and what they imagined God would say to them and about them, what advice God would give, etc.


It was all pretty mundane stuff, hardly worth commenting on, but the first thought that entered my head (but did not pass my lips) was...


"For the creator of the universe, God can't spell worth a damn...."


Had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting that out...





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You should totally have gone for the Futurama angle, a la Hubert Farnsworth..."Good News, everyone!" ;-)
A friend of my son was over to the house the other day and asked me "Do you have jesus in your heart?". I did not want to start anything with this kid so I held my response. "So that's what this feeling is. I thought it was the pepperoni pizza."
Wow, who is your son hanging out with?
Actually my son is all atheist. This kid he knows is a real anomaly. Loves sci-fi, surfing, is very literate but has this jesus thing. His dad was a real piece of work (praise the lord)
so now that he's gone maybe the kid will come around.
Oh, a good response just hit me for yours - Do you have reason in your brain?
Is that not how Elvis died, on the toilet, with too much Jesus built up in his heart?

Well, shame on me, but I DIDN'T bite my tongue when I told the JW visiting my house that I was an atheist.  She responded with surprise and asked me if I had always been an atheist or if something happened to me to make me an atheist.

My response: "Yeah - common sense."

gooooooooooooood one!
Reminds me of t-shirts I've seen...."I found Jesus...he was behind the couch the whole time!", etc.
Reminds me of a burglar who was warned by the house owner's parrot: "Beware of jesus" every time the burglar stole an item & then at the door before he left the house was jesus, the bulldog.
LOL, yeah, damn shame; we don't tell them "come to our group meetup; we need the money!" ferfxsake; I always pull if you voted for Bush in 2000 stop yer whining. ?

I had a regular customer that was a pastor. He gave me literature all the time (which was put in the circular file).  At work, I always tried very hard to avoid every discussion of religion or belief, but with this person, it was very difficult keeping my mouth shut.  

One day, the week before easter, the pastor came in and asked me if I would be in church this sunday.  I replied no.  He asked why not? I replied " I don't need it"

That was the last time he ever said anything to me regarding religion.


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