I am Jewish, come from a religious family, I am married for over 10 years to a religious Jewish woman, and we have children. After being a skeptic for the past 2 years, I finally came out to my wife recently, and to some of my family/friends, but not all.
My wife wasn't happy about it, but accepts that I will not change. However, she made some "ground rules", such as I must attend synagogue, and I must not tell our children. She does not want our children to think that they have the option of becoming irreligious because she wouldn't accept that.
I wish I could speak honestly with my kids about it, and skip synagogue on the Sabbath, but I don't want to lose my wife and kids.
Do you guys think I should hold my ground, speak with my oldest kid (young teenager), skip synagogue, and take a chance of "escalating" the situation and loosing my family, or should I "fake it" to keep peace in the house?
Thanks everyone for your responses and advice. You've given me food for thought.
The way I see this, continuing with the status quo offers a greater chance of you losing your family than being honest with your children. There is a strong likelihood that animosity and resentment between you and your wife over this issue will build over time, and if that happens your kids will definitely notice. The only way to avoid such a ticking time bomb is to assert your opinion clearly, honestly and empathetically to your entire family.
Best of luck to you!