I've been trying to understand where exactly I am sexually for a few months now and it's been surprisingly harder than I expected.
This started when I was in a quasi-relationship with a lesbian. Obviously nothing was going to happen in bed but it was clear to both of us that there was something special between us. As such, our romantic friendship endures.
This, however, brought up a new oddity. I knew that I didn't care that I would never bed her -- and soon it mildly apparent that I didn't care if I never bedded anybody ever. That I had never thought about it before suggested that I didn't care back then either.
I had never felt a real compulsion to date anyone, when I did so it was usually after someone had pursued me. Even then it felt awkward being so close to someone. That I'm emotionally close to someone now may be more accident than any change in me.
Some of my friends talk about sexual frustration in the sense that they haven't had any in a while -- a while being measured in days or weeks, looking for flings to 'get it out of the system.' Some of my friends talk about how they want to try different things with different people. They talk about sexual urges and compulsions -- I simply have no idea what any of that means. I don't have a frame of reference. I don't know what it feels like to be biologically compelled to do things beyond eating and drinking.
I'm told that I "look like [I] would know what [I'm] doing." Which is ironic considering that I've never done it and should the opportunity arise I would only have the roughest idea of what actually goes on. I imagine something with pulleys and levers and such.
If I never had sex before I died I wouldn't feel that I had missed anything.
Now, just some things about asexuality before anyone else says anything else.
Firstly, it's not that asexuals are averse or offended by sex, asexuals simply aren't sexually attracted to anyone. Imagine seeing everyone as some degree of relative. Intimacy is possible but is exclusively emotional. Physical attraction is mild at best.
Secondly, some asexuals do have sex but have no physical desire for it.
Thirdly, being asexual doesn't mean an aversion to relationships. Emotionally romantic relationships may still be desired by asexuals.
Fourthly, there are degrees of emotional attraction within the set of asexuals similar to the Kinsey model but with respect to emotional attraction versus sexual attraction.
Hopefully this is a new area of discussion for the group and I hope it sparks some interest.