Hi everyone!

I have 2 great kids who are 9 and 6. They both still believe in Santa, the Easter bunny, and tooth fairy...well at least they say they do. I have doubts about my son (the 9 y.o.).


For a while now I have been feeling bad about keeping up the ruse. Every now and again they will ask questions and I just feel so guilty about brushing them off or outright lying to them. When they ask questions about other topics I never lie. I always answer their questions to the best of my abilities in a way they understand, but when it comes to these stupid traditions, I just can't seem to bring myself to tell the truth.


My husband has mentioned having similar feelings though we've never talked about if we should break the news to the kids or not.


What's your take? What did you do with your children, or what was your experience as a child? I know I believed as a kid, but I honestly can't remember when I found out the truth.


Should I answer their questions truthfully or keep it going until it runs it's course?

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My kids believe in Santa and the Tooth fairy.  I'm think they're faking it about the Easter Bunny to get candy though.  It's fun.  It's harmless.  Someday other kids will tell them "the truth" just like they did me.  I was not especially traumatized over it.  The Tooth Fairy didn't bother me at all. 


Santa is the spirit of giving and love.  And that is very real.  The Tooth Fairy is probably some old pagan tradition that has lived on despite changes in management (i.e. religion). Terry Pratchett said it best in Hogfather.  Hogfather (Santa) is the little lie that allows us to believe in the big lies like justice and mercy. 


There is so little magic and wonder in modern life.  Why not let kids have a little for a little while? It's a given kids are going to grow out of it.  I think more parents are sad when their kids quit believing in Santa than kids are sad Santa isn't an actual person.  I've known many parents to have a good cry when Santa finally left the building for good.  It's certainly a sign a child is growing up and leaving the things of childhood behind. 


Naturally, it is an individual choice which every parent must make for themselves.  There's no right or wrong answer here.

What?  There's no justice, no mercy?  Run for the hills! ;)
Yep, that would be a side effect.  Just because you celebrate Christmas doesn't mean you have to do it the christian way.    I like christmas trees and lights and everything not christian about christmas.  I even like Santa Claus and look forward to watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - the first time.
Me, too!  The fun parts of Easter (the eggs, bunnies, candy, spring, etc. part) and Christmas (essentially every single thing except the nativity and being dragged to a religious service) are entirely secular.  BTW, I could go on and on about the origins (not Christian) of Easter and Christmas, but I will spare everyone :)  I save that for religious people who ask me why I still celebrate Easter and Christmas, haha.

Dont worry about how your kids might tell others the truth, just also teach them about respect and saftey along with the truth.  I am a teacher and when kids ask me about it I say you will need to ask your parents about that.  Kids who upset other kids just need to learn how upsetting others on purpose is disrespectful.  No kid will be able to forsee what all their truths or beliefs will do to others yet if they know they are disturbing another they also need to know what to do about it.

I just recommend being honest. Yes they might be ticked, or they just very well might not care. My mother and grandmother did not even tell me Santa or the Easter Bunny existed. Their reasoning was "Jesus is important so lying to a kid about imaginary beings is setting them up to not believe you"


They didn't know how right they were >.>


When I have kids, I am going to teach it as a family plus history thing. I'm not even going to try and say santa claus to my imaginary kids because I'll start laughing.

Ok, I am going to answer this with out knowing any of your other comment here and then I am going to read some of them.  I do not have children of my own, I was a kid who was also lied to in the tradition of fantasy characters.  I don't think you want anyone to tell you that you are wrong.  You need to chose what you want for your kids and yourself.  Your kids will love you none the less if your intentions were for childhood fun, just don't let childhood fun turn into adulthood denial.  I personally would never have started telling my kids about fantasy characters for traditional holidays.  Yes I don't mind telling stories that are fantasy as long as they understand that it is in fact fantasy.  So how or when you decide to talk to your children about what is bothering you is all your choice.  This makes me wonder what your kids believe of religion or not because isn't this really one in the same?  If they do not believe in a god or some religion then the santa thing will be a lot easier to explain in my opionion.  If you feel guilty about it then say "sorry".  Saying sorry to something I feel bad about makes me feel better almost instant.  I will even say sorry to my dog if I did him wrong. 

If a parent says "Do this" or "don't do that" or I am not giving you any Christmas presents.  Then you must follow through, because if you don't the child knows you aren't serious and they don't really have to do what you say.  Seeing the kids open the presents on Christmas morning is a lot of the fun.  Santa doesn't have to follow through.  Mom and Dad do. 


Santa is just a bit of holiday fun. 

Personal attacks are a poor substitute for actual arguments and dialogue. Conversation over.


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