Crypto-Tourists at Village Apocalypse Party Tonight - But Why?

BCC: Conspiracy theorist family and friends. The clock is still running. . . .

A mystery from the Village Mayan Apocalypse party at the Community Center & Diner tonight.

As we arrived, there was an unmarked interurban charter bus parked right in the middle of E Smith Street (like all village streets, a dirt street), across from the Center/Diner.

As this was my first function as a village official (village board member) outside of government, I investigated. No one seemed to know who these crypto-tourists were, but they were paying customers, though nearly everyone had something to say about the village government (are you going to reign in those godless commies charging too much on my water bill?) They apparently forgot they appointed a socialistic atheist hippie to the village board, but I promised I would look into it.

As the party wore on, I conferred with each of the village government officials at the party (everyone was present except the Chairman). No one knew who this group of tourists were, where they were from, or why they would come to a village party sixty miles from a town over 2,000 people or an Interstate highway.

Why would a whole charter bus of people come to our bucolic village, to our Mayan Tex-Mex Luau buffet with leis and with a live local Eighties cover band? (I kid you not, that was the theme of the party, just like the Maya would have done it.)

It couldn’t have been to win the raffle of coupons from the local businesses, nor even to win the homemade goods such as pies and home-canned vegetables, nor even the shotgun. Perhaps it was to snatch the Village Board of Trustees Chairman, but why? I never found him. There was also a Village Library Board member missing. (If it is an human breeding experiment, I am not sure those would be the two I'd pick for it, but that's just my opinion.)

Perhaps it is from here the Mayan Apocalypse will start, on the High Plains of the Old West? Or perhaps there is something –they- don’t want you to know. For that, see the Website How Stuff Works, for the page of podcasts, puzzles, photos, and videos of Stuff They Don't Want You To Know, the funny and curious mysteries not quite explained. (The page includes instructions on how to solve a Rubik’s Cube.)

Puzzled on the High Plains, James K.

The Deeprak Chopra “Woo Quote” Generator! – Generate great pseudo-scientific-sounding random quotes of woo, just like Deeprak Chopra, the Hindu spiritualist makes.

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You guys throw a great party!

When the Village Library Board Member and Chairman of the Village Board of Trustees show up, be sure to check the back of the neck for a small healed incision.  And behind the ear.  Those are prime spots for the implants / transmitters.

A socialist atheist hippie - you sound cool James.
You can make changes now that you are a board member. Awesome

The world still hasn't ended, according to NIST's clock above.

Still no sign of the Board Chairman or the Library Board member.

I think they are too old for breeding experiments, but you never know.

I am not sure a transmitter would actually work here (cell' 'phones won't). To make it high-powered enough without a relay would burn their poor heads off.

There could be passive reflectors though (a transmitter gets close enough, they reflect the signal back. Requires no power.)

And there haven't been any mutilated cattle since a bull ran up the street and head-butted the village's post office door and staved it in. The bull was addled for a bit, ran around the corner, left a present in the street in front of my house, and ran out of town. It was later wrangled by the sheriff and its owner.

No crop circles either, as the crops withered in the drought this summer. Tumbleweed circles, maybe.

A socialist atheist hippie third-party politician no less. Who'd've thunk that in the reddest state north of the Mason-Dixon line?

As for what I can do to change things, there isn't a whole lot to change. The biggest gripe is the cost of the water bill. (City water was formerly free, until the Bush II administration changed the maximum permissible elemental arsenic standards to 80% below WHO and former US standards, forcing tens of thousands of towns in the Great Plains to convert water systems or add filtration systems, buying all that from his corporate supporters.)

According to the company that provides our in-home filters (which is what the bill pays for), they remove the elemental arsenic (tested for by the village), the elemental uranium (naturally-occuring in the ground water here and also tested for by the village), and the plutonium dumped on us by the Rocky Flats Nuclear Weapons Plant in Denver (closed after an FBI raid enforcing EPA regulations). The history of the plant and the fascinating way the FBI was able to raid the plant are both at the link.

They need a hippie (even if I am a veteran of the armed forces) to keep up with this stuff.


I think your theory about reflectors must be the case.  That shows the villagers' wisdom in electing you.  Or did they draft you?  I forget.


Your Board Chairman and Library Board member may be having a torrid affair.  Or eloped.

Breeding experiments can be done at any age now.  Strom Thurmond proved that with the result of his last breeding experiment occurring when he was in his 70s.  Plus there's all sorts of technology.  That's especially important if not all of the DNA sources are mammalian.  Or Earth-based.

This quote from your "random" may prove prophetic: "The invisible is only possible in potential balance".   Time to start a new line of fortune Samosas.

I think if people want to drink arsenic and plutonium, they shouldn't have that right taken away from them.  Just don't try to fluoridate their water.   Although the presence of mutagens in the water may explain some of the recent voting results.

Seems to me they are getting better about not leaving mutilated cattle lying around.   Too much of that and people start to suspect something.  But that bull story is hilarious.  You might be the TR Pearson of Nebraska.

Tumbleweed circles.  Well, here in the Pacific Northwest it would have to be moss circles.  I hope you get more rain this year.


The village doesn't floridate the water; it doesn't even chlorinate it (except in the rare instance testing indicates it should be).

The bull story is no bull; it really happened, right after my wife and I led the charge to defeat the USPS proposal to close our Post Office (it was successful). Apparently the bull was the USPS's last attempt to close it, and when that didn't even work, left a paddy in front of our house in protest.

The board chairman is a widower, so I suppose it is okay, but the library board member is married and her hub might go looking for them with a shotgun, unless aliens really did kidnap them.

I'm starting to worry about the board chair and library board member.  Has the sheriff been alerted?


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