As an Atheist, how do you deal with it?

It's definitely, definitely the hardest thing for me. I think about how crappy it is to have a mother who is hurt by my religious decisions, but how much worse would it be to realize that when I lose someone in my family, they're gone forever?

A lot of the Atheists I speak to don't think about it, or don't seem to mind. What do you think?
(Hopefully this isn't a duplicate thread.)

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This topic is now ironic... my brother has been missing since Thursday.
Yikes! Jezzy, please let us know how this turns out. I hope for the best.
The police came at 12:30 yesterday. He was found dead in his car; suicide. Of course, our mother is taking it worse than anyone. He and almost everyone else in my immediate family is an atheist or close, but my mother is very Mormon. I can't take away the only thing that's going to get her through this, right? She's always been hypersensitive, especially where her children are concerned. I don't think it's right to push the issue.

Thanks for the support.
I'm very sorry.

Was you brother an ex-Mormon? Dealing with the fallout of exiting?

Take especially good care of yourself at this time, Jezzy.
He was raised Mormon but I'm sure he started leaving pretty young. I can't remember a period where he was particularly interested in church... He was 30 in May. His birthday is the day before mine. So, there was time...
I'm very sorry. Even when one shows no signs of interest or involvement in the religion they were indoctrinated with, it's made a mark on them. The psychological effects are still there. Please take care of yourself, Jezzy, and don't hesitate to seek outside help to cope with your loss.
Damn. So sorry to hear this, Jezzy.
It's times like these I wish there really were magic words guaranteed to make things better.

I lost a brother to suicide many years ago. I think some of the greatest words of wisdom came from our parents: "There is no 'going back to normal.' We now have to redefine what normal is."

Besides just losing a loved one, and losing him way too young, suicide brings with it so many more levels of hurt, anger, frustration and sorrow. Everyone reacts and deals differently, though I've found it amazingly helpful to talk about it with people you trust. Even if all it is is you talking and them listening, just getting it out there helps the process.
Thanks, all of you. The funeral was yesterday and we had a wake at my brother's house. There were a lot of toasts, and it was really really good, especially since everyone could say the things they couldn't in an LDS chapel (my brother had an endearingly lewd/disturbing sense of humor). I think I'm doing better than most of my family, unless it hasn't hit me enough and I'm secretly doing worse. It just hurts to see them in so much pain. My dad never cries, so it scares me, and my mom is hypersensitive to begin with, so she's hysterical at times.

I actually went through the anger phase a little at the viewing. Just these little things made me really mad, like people wearing colors that were too bright, or they weren't crying enough, or they didn't know my brother well enough to be there. I got upset because my brother collected gems and stones and my sister-in-law put some on the table for people to take, and I didn't want kids and strangers taking my brother's things... I've never liked church or social functions to begin with, so I tried to hide but it didn't really work, and I was on picture duty anyways.
Talk about frustration. Good vibes to you and yours.
Death of someone you love is always hard.Sure, I wish I could see them again but we know that isn't possible.That makes me sad but I would rather live with that than in a delusion.I get so upset when people say,"Well, She is with Jesus now"I know it's not so.It's great being an atheist as far as my death is concern.I know when I die I will simply not exist.Really no different before I was born.I think if I were a Christian or Muslim I would be scared of dying because I would wonder if I was going to heaven or hell.
Even if your family member went to heaven they'd be gone to you. Besides, whose to say they went to heaven? That's not the only place you might wind up after death. I've heard the south side club is a lot easier to stumble into. In fact you can live a perfectly righteous life while believing in god and still find yourself living perminently in that downtown club on a technicality, like worshiping the wrong god or never having your last rights. So if heaven did exist your odds (and your mother's odds) of getting in would be slim to none.

By the way, does anyone else find it strange that physical death is the only means by which a person can "meet" god? That's started to seem suspicious to me lately. If you claim to know, for sure, that an impossible being exists, what better way to cover up your lie than to say that he only reveals himself to you and people who have died? It's so simple. No one really knows what happens after death so no one can contradict you. Further more since most people are afraid of death, when you tell them that there's some magical paradise that exists after death they're inclined to believe you because it alievates their fear. The afterlife makes people feel secure.

The atheist's idea of death is death as it should be. Death is the great equalizer. There are a lot of positive things that can be said for death without the afterlife.

1. People who were suffering in life are no longer in pain.
2. Good people don't burn in eternal torment for worshiping the wrong god.
3. Evil people aren't rewarded for worshiping the right god.
4. The greatest peace there can be is simply not to exist, because existance always leads to struggle.
5. Life has more value when it can end for good.




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