I am already struggling trying to put myself back out there, and now that I am in my 30's and am trying to date in that age range- I find that everyone is ready to have babies. I don't want to bear children. In the area I live in it is hard enough to find someone who will accept my atheism (and rare to find a fellow non-theist) and when I throw in the "maybe I would like to adopt older children some day- I don't want to bear my own"... I may have as well announced that I have a highly contagious communicable disease. Am I being unrealistic? Do I need to just give in and date men with children? Why does this all suck so bad?

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i don't want children, i already have 3.
I have often said if I could do it over again I would not have had any. That sounds cruel, I love them to death....I just had them when I was young and did not think things through as well as I do now.
Hmm, I'm a vegetarian Atheist who really wants kids. Meh.

... and the part about being on opposite coasts is kind of a bitch.
Yup. After you figure in my three deal-breakers: no devout theists, no smokers, and no pets (or at least of the dog and cat, make-a-mess-of-your-house variety) ... the remaining pool on any dating site is pretty pathetically small.
Ah, yeah, the smoking thing wouldn't be particularly good for you either, then. I've heard that people who used to smoke and have stopped smoking are affected worse than people who never smoked in the first place. Of course, maybe that's just their perception, relative to when they had their lungs nicely coated with tar, so that the smoke didn't affect them as badly.

So okay, let me update it to people who smoke and aren't planning on quitting anytime soon. If someone was trying to stop smoking, I'd be more than happy to help out, and I could then look past it a bit more easily, until they actually managed to cease.

Don't the cats tie you down, like kids would?
Well, I mean I can definitely see the advantage of maintaining your independence, but I also feel the need to pass on my genes.

Among other things, I'm sick of stupid people constantly out-breeding intelligent people, now that society has grown to the point where they can do so. I fear for our gene pool.

Cutting my genes out of the pool will have a negative effect. My IQ is up in the 160's, and physically, I'm in fantastic condition, thanks to my genes. Just about anything you can have a genetic predisposition towards, I have only positive. Great cholesterol handling, great heart, all of the internal organs work great ... I build muscle without even trying, and there are no signs of any recessive genetic-disorders in my family tree.

I just hate seeing all of these idiots with below-average IQ breeding like crazy, because society enables them.

Add to that that I simply love kids and want some of my own, and there you go. The societal imperative just lies on top of the existing emotional want.
I know the numbers. *shrug* Whatever issues I have, my genes are way above average.

And I know several half-wits who have popped out more than one baby each, by the age of 23, because they're not bright enough to use birth-control ... and the kids aren't looking much brighter than the parents are. And the state ends up paying for them, through welfare.

Meanwhile, most intelligent, financially-responsible people I know are childless. The theists are badly out-breeding us, too. It makes me despair for the future of the human race. "Idiocracy" is coming true.
So are kids.

And we have parents to hand them off to, when necessary. Most kids love visiting grandma and grandpa. Or aunt and uncle. :-D It helps them grow up stronger and independent, letting them stay away from home now and then.
Heh, slight issue, yeah. I can sometimes sort of agree with you about the advantages of freedom. I dunno.
I must say, I hadn't realized that women who didn't want kids faced the same difficulty as men who don't want them. I knew that overwhelmingly most women wanted to have kids (that "overwhelmingly" is a bit less these days than it used to be), but I didn't think most men had the same attitude.

I've never wanted to have kids of my own. I love kids, and I'm generally good with kids, and I like playing with my nephews and helping them with their mathematics homework and so on, but I don't want my own.

Of course, until I get those crowns and replace my photograph, I'm not going to attract anyone here! (Laugh)
Heh, well, smile with your mouth closed, in the next one, and clean off whatever that red stuff is, next time. :-P
Its extremely difficult!! I tell guys two things on the first date to avoid leading them on or deal breakers.. 1. I'm an atheist 2. I do not want to bear children. The last guy I dated was supposedly okay with this- then on the 4th date he got drunk and demanded that I have his children!!! Well that didn't last lol
Seriously.. He said some crap like "before I met you I never wanted children.. but now that I know you.. how can we not have children together?" Then he got mad when I reminded him that I do not want children with ANYONE. I should have known better than to try to date a Catholic Lawyer.. lol




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