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Door to Door Churchers

I've seen Jahova's Witnesses go door to door, and also Mormons. Yesterday I got a visit from some Baptist people trying to sell their church to us. I explained that their god is an evil maniacal psychopath, and Satan seems like the good guy in the story, since their god wanted us to be ignorant of all knowledge, while Satan wanted us to have knowledge. Kinda like Christians vs Atheists today. Ignorance vs insight.

Anyway, I was wondering what responses any of you have had to preaching loonies at your door or on the street (I've had that experience, as well... but back then I was a much more polite guy).

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Permalink Reply by Sarah Walton on October 4, 2010 at 9:28am

"No, thank you. Have a nice day!"

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Permalink Reply by Kiru on October 4, 2010 at 11:00am

This guy wasn't nervous, but the two pasty white kids behind him were totally silent. He told me I need church and I said, "like hell." My fiance actually answered the door. At first I left it alone, figuring they were just passing along the message that they exist (their church in town), but the guy started preaching to her. I told them we're not religious, so he started in with that whole "accept god into your heart" crap, and then I let him know what I thought of his god. He kept trying to direct the conversation back to her, because she's nice and doesn't so easily speak her mind. He was going after the less spirited one, and that made me quite angry. I held back, though. My goal was getting rid of them without just slamming the door in their face (not my style).

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Permalink Reply by Pat on October 4, 2010 at 11:13am

Had a similar experience last Saturday when I found myself sitting next to a couple of Teabaggers at a local bar. The point where one told me about how the US was founded as a "Christian Nation" was the point where I exploded (having 3+ beers in me probably didn't help my "Dale Carnegie" skills). I asked him about the "original intent" of the Founding Fathers, that they so love to drool over, and why he was too freaking stupid and/or lazy to read what Jefferson, Adams, and Madison actually wrote, as opposed to morons like Limbaugh and Hannity. I put a $100.00 bill on the bar, and gave him 5 to 1 odds to show me where "God" is mentioned in the Constitution. I then proceeded ask why the veteran senators of the Revolutionary War (who probably had a better "original intent" idea of the principles on which this country was founded than he did) unanimously passed article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli (which I quoted verbatim), and according to Article VI of the Constitution (which they also wrote), that pronouncement was the law of the land. For some strange reason, I don't think I'll be invited to their rally anytime soon.

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Permalink Reply by eric stone on October 5, 2010 at 6:23am

They want to give you so called "love" as long as you give up your reason and deny reality.

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Permalink Reply by freethinkermommy on October 5, 2010 at 7:01pm

I used to keep fliers by my door about atheism to give them when they showed up. Now I just tell them to go away because I'm preparing for a symbolic ritual sacrifice of peeps to our lord and savior the Stayed Puff Marshmallow man.... I had one or two get really upset about the atheist fliers. They just go away when I start ranting about peeps.

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Permalink Reply by George Hanson on October 29, 2010 at 9:58pm

I love these guys!! I always invite them in, offer them coffee, get out my bibles and usualy end up asking them to leave in an hour or so because I will not tolerate baby murders in my house. (We discuss Abraham) I have had them return several times with re-enforcements. I let them help me take thier beliefs apart. For me it is amusing. Particularly when you have a group of them. I think I,ve been black balled now though as no one has shown up at the door in a year or so. Bummer!!

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Permalink Reply by Jim DePaulo on October 30, 2010 at 9:52pm

I heard a new word coinage for the door to door rubes pimping for jesus - proselytutes.

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Permalink Reply by Zach Stofle on October 30, 2010 at 10:23pm

This kind of thing usually happens fairly often (living in Oklahoma and all) and as much as I'd like to open the door in my underwear holding a pistol and ranting about the menace of Christianity I choose not to. What's the point in being confrontational? If they cant handle my simple "Hey guys, sorry but I'm really not interested." then fine, we can have a conversation, we can both walk away dissatisfied and contemplate our mutual waste of time. Call me lazy, but I'd rather not deal with it first thing in the morning whilst possibly enduring a hangover or being under-caffeinated.