At Mihai's suggestion.

Please do not post links to some giant page full of expressions. This is audience participation, and links (or entire webpages copied-and-pasted) just kill the conversation.

I'll go first with some expressions for female masturbation.

Jilling off.
Feeding the bearded clam.
Pearl fishing.

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No Nano, you're the ONLY ONE!!
"Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten"

If that were true, we'd see kitten skeletons in museums, just next to dinosaurs.
Bashing the bishop - M variation

Doing the KitKat shuffle - F
I miss glam rock.
hahaha! I didn't even know it was called glam rock back then, I just listened to it.
Rubbing one out, Whipping a batch of baby batter, Crankin' a session (from a musician friend), Committing a car-jacking (for the exhibitionist type I suppose), Doing the Two-finger Tango (for the ladies).
I'd like to get a T-shirt with "PWU" in big letters and then in smaller letters "Pud-Whackers Unanamous"!!
Walter, you got in comment number 69. Aren't you thrilled?
I thought this discussion was about masturbation. Or are you suggesting you can 69 yourself?
I've heard you can with certain kinds of yoga.
OK, now I understand why there are so many smiling and laughing Buddhas statues. Here's a new euphemism for your list: "Making little Buddha happy".
This is much better than kitten killing.




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