My response: Depends on which one you're talking about, the one I learned about as a child or the one who, today, lacks compassion, doesn't give a damn about the old and sick and poor, hates women, and won't make a place at his table for the sexual minorities. The first one is welcome any time. The second is a plague.
I would have to ask what does he look like? How will I know him? If it was possible for him to come to your home, it's utterly impossible for you to know him in any way. The christian today would have a fit dealing with what I have said here because they have had "a personal relationship" with Jesus their entire lives. That makes my remarks almost blasphemous!
This would all be different if we were asking the same thing about Frank Sinatra or Clark Gable. Sinatra could sing to us and we would know him. Gable could be distinguished after a few sentences. All Jesus could do would be magic tricks and recite his "words" to the faithful. They would know him because his words are in red.
Jesus existed as a person for a few decades, two millennia ago, but as any sort of continuing presence after about 30 C.E., he's strictly a human creation. (Wouldn't it be great if he knew that, and told people not to put him on such a pedestal?)
The stories in the Christian bible -- which is not a reliable biography, to say the least! -- describe many different versions of Jesus.
I'd say believers distinguish between the "good stuff" and "we know better" the same way nonbelievers do: with our empathy and reason. (Of course, there's vehement disagreement about what "we know better" about!... maybe religion isn't such a reliable guide to morality? :-)
Is he house-broken?
I hope so. They found Jesus hiding behind the couch the entire time!
Go to Mexico and ask if the real Jesus will stand up.
No, I wouldn't invite Jesus into my house. He'd probably get blood on my couch.
Seth McFarlane is going straight to hell. The fat Jesus one is the more sacrilegious of the two. And the funnier, too.