I am a new nontheist but I haven't yet spoken about it to my mother. I had been a seventh day adventist since I was five years old. Even then I always had a lot of questions and found that I didn't agree with nearly all of the dogmatic beliefs most of the people held to. My path to nontheism started when I simply stopped going to church. I grew sick of the hypocrisy I saw there. Even as I read the bible, I kept finding these ridiculous, violent and immoral stories. The blatant misogyny in the bible made me furious. I was finding more and more that the bible was full of crap. Anyone I asked about this simply told that I didn't have enough faith and that I shouldn't question god's word. I finally decided to break free from the nonsense earlier this year. The only person I have ever truly told about this was my cousin. She is going through a similar journey. My mother is very religious and nags me about going back to church. I know she depends on her religion but I can't even think of allowing my mind to go back to that type of dependence. Since I became a nontheist, I have felt a whole lot freer to explore and enjoy reality. I still have a lot of crap I'm dealing with in my life, but at least I know I can handle it myself and not hope for some invisible sky friend to intervene on my behalf. I need to eventually tell my mother, though. I know it will break her heart. How can I broach the subject without a confrontation or argument.

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Hey, Lisa. In all honesty, I became an atheist around the same time as yourself. I haven't told my family, beyond my sister, but I think it's implied that I don't believe what everyone else believes.  But to address your question about revealing your position to your mother, I wouldn't right off. Unless she asks or you feel that her religious position is imposing on your life (which I assume you'd be against), then reveal that to her. 

Thank you for the advice. I truly appreciate it. I love my mother dearly, but find it difficult to tell her about my lack of belief. I do think she does have some idea though, because she will sometimes mention that I should start going back to church. I haven't gone to church in years and don't intend to ever again. I know I will someday tell her about my atheism, but not right now. Once again, I do truly thank you for your advice.
My mother passed away on the ninth of february, so I'll never have the chance to tell her about my atheism now. I can't even begin to express my sorrow.

This is shocking and saddening news. I'm truly sorry to hear about your loss.

Thank you. The worst part of it is all the 'well meaning religious people' who say they will pray for me, keep telling me that she is in heaven and that I should be good so that I can see her again. I haven't been able to truly mourn my mother. Some are even dropping subtle hints that I should go back to church. (never going to happen). I haven't told these people about my atheism. I don't really want to but I have to do something.

My sister passed away on Aug 31, 2012. At one point, when I was at a particularly weak point, I sobbed into my brother's arms. And he, believing me to still be a believer in fairy tales, tried to comfort me with the words "we do not mourn as they do." Meaning everyone around us, "those who have no hope." I darned near punched him out. We do not mourn as they do. Of all the arrogant exaltations of pathetic denial...

I mourn as a human being does, a human being who has suffered loss and recognizes that time only goes in one direction. It is a sad and beautiful and REAL thing. The Christian "hope" robs us of the reality of loss and mourning. We lost a beautiful and wonderful person, and he's treating it like "see ya later!"

No. No we won't.

And that's sad. And real.

My sister now lives in the memory of everyone who ever loved her. She would have appreciated the honesty if she had come to the understanding about faith that I have. I truly miss her. I truly mourn her. As others do. As others should.

My condolences on the loss of your mom.

Sorry to hear about your mom. I just saw this when I scrolled down the page. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you. I have good days and bad days. I love and miss my mom and deeply regret missing the opportunity to talk to her about my atheism. I truly appreciate your concern.
Hello Lisa! My mom doesn't know either! I don't even think about coming out to her. She happens to be very religious.
I know what you mean. My mom was also very religious. That is why I waited for an opportunity to sit down with her and really talk about my atheism. I actually had an opportunity two days before she died. Regretably, I let it pass. I may never know what her rhoughts might have been or if we could have reached some accord regarding my lack of belief. We were always able to discuss things, even things we didn't agree on. I guess this will be something I will have to live with.




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