From darkness to fairness: A journey of an Ex-Muslim

Hi everyone, this is my story:

I was born and raised in an Islamic country of 35 million people, in my country you are brainwashed since your early childhood by the family, media and education… Islam is just everywhere and everybody say the same thing but no one ever asks questions or doubt it, because it is the only true religion of god!

I’ve been so curious during my childhood, but this curiosity was killed by this brainwashing, I never wanted to be sent to hell and stay there forever burning in lava, it was a depressing idea that was hard to carry, each time I did a mistake I was scared of going to hell…

Later when I was a teenager, I started to be closer to Allah; I never missed the five prayers of the day, I fasted the whole month of Ramadan and tried to do everything as good as Quran and prophet Muhammad said. All what I did wasn’t enough, I always felt that I need to learn more about religion and do more for Islam to be one of the people who will be rewarded by god…

There is one thing that Allah forgot! That he gave me a brain not like all the Muslims brains, so first thing that shocked me about Islam, is when I learnt that it is possible to have as many concubines as you can get (slaves), but blinded by my faith I thought if the prophet said it then it must be for the best of humanity…

Later, I learnt more and more bizarre fatwas and hadiths of the prophet, but my faith was solid as a rock, I would never give up my religion even if it costs me my life (I am a man of principles after all!)

The turning point that changed everything is the death of my father! My father was a good person, he was an engineer and during his life he did many good deeds, he was also open-minded since he travelled to many places, read books and had many foreign friends.

He did not deserve to die young (59 years old); I did not deserve to lose him nor my younger sisters and brother. My mission was to dedicate more time to religion and study the books of Islam seriously, I felt death was so close to me and needed to arm myself of knowledge and dedication to Allah to win paradise that is when my view changed completely towards this non-peaceful religion.

I learnt many things; like women are half-men, that camel urine is a food, breastfeeding adult men makes them relatives to the woman who does that, killing non-Muslim for no reason is allowed, that mice are bad because one attempted prophet assassination and of course paradise is a place for having sex with many women…

Therefore, after studying all this I decided to the so-called religion of peace of Islam, I realized how dangerous it is to Muslims themselves and to the rest of humanity and planet… it is full of hatred, racist and bloodthirsty.

I embraced freedom, happiness and love, I do not need a god who tells me how to wipe my butt and punish me if step to my home using the left foot first…

My choice anyway is very hard, I have to hide it from everybody, I had to stash food during Ramadan so no one knows, pretend to be Muslim in general… the punishment for people who quit Islam is clear BEHEADING!

It is quasi-impossible to live peacefully as a non-Muslim in my country, the government doesn’t recognize unislamic marriages or children resulting from such unions, in the law not fasting Ramadan is punishable as well as changing faith from Islam, it’s hopeless you have no  right to love or do whatever you feel like doing !

I lost some people who knew about me leaving religion, but the good news is that I am moving to Canada soon, where I will find freedom and meet freethinkers like me…


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Thanks patricia, i need your help to tell me about groups where i can share my experience and maybe do some volunteering...

Great, i will be in montreal i guess there's many things happening there

oh yeah that's a long way !

omariann, welcome to Atheist Nexus, to the U.S. and to Washington, D.C. Your life will certainly be different in this country or in Canada than your life in Muslim countries. I am sure you will see the flaws of USA and the style of life that has evolved over the centuries. However, being able to move freely, to be free of the many restrictions that Muslims face will offer you a tantalizing array of options.  

This group has many skilled and talented people, with creative imaginations who can help you get through the many difficult adjustments you will be making.  I am glad you are so clear about what you do not want in your life, and what you want.                               



Well, i already visited some european countries and also visite the USA, each society have positive side and negative side... in north america you have freedom to be whatever you want to be and no one interferes in your life choices...

In islamic countries like where i live, it's very hard to think differently, it's either with them or against them, i wont hide that it's scary to tell them your real thoughts, atheists here are harrassed sometimes violence is used against them, and if the authorities know you're in deep shit ! many fled the country as assylum seekers etc.... the only thing we ever wanted is to be left in peace and give to the societies where we were born far from the atrocities muhamed said ! also the wave of extremism is growin day after day and people like me are scared for their fate.... if one day people like isis come to power i am sure my body and my head wont meet !

Greets and salutes, Omariann, and welcome to Atheist Nexus!  I sorrow that you cannot be who you in the open in your homeland.  Please know that you sure can HERE!  Anything I can do to help you find your way around this site, please don't hesitate to give a shout.

Meantime, please enjoy and express yourself all you like!

Thank you Loren, i think many understand how it is in isamic countries... i am glad i could find my way out from that religion 

Welcome and good luck. People in our country do not know how well they have it even when it comes to religion. Americans are spoiled. Escaping from any religion is not easy. I can only imagine how hard it would be for me if I was Islamic and surrounded by Islamic people. Once in Montreal a search for Canadian freethinkers may help you greatly. Some of our members here are from Canada.

Yeah, you're lucky in america in that matter, it was something your ancestors fought for and the new generations must be aware of its importance and make sure to keep it...

Welcome aboard!

Nice story Omariann, and yes, it is stupid for a god to punish those like yourself who use properly the brain they were born with.

I asked the same question while studying the Bible, where much of Islam originated from anyway, as to how much the god within appeared to punish those who actually had doubts.

I saw it as god's fault for not giving enough evidence of it's existence to allay those doubts, the people doubting should never be blamed for doubting anything that lacks evidence, including god.

Then I moved to basing my life on evidence and never looked back.

Glad to see you are moving to Canada, which is almost as secular as Australia.

I'm sure Patriciia and others on A/N from Canada will make you very welcome.

All the best m8!


G'day mate!

yeah i mean if i was god i wouldnt really care about what people would do, punish them for almost everything... and would erradicate all diseases and catastophies ! God according abrahamic religions is a guy sitting on a chair and watching everybody else, if you do something he don't like he'd send you hell ! i don't know why he would do that if he was that smart to create the universe .... add to that mohamed said that he flew on a winged donkey to the 7 skies and met prophets etc i think he was using opium !

i've been following the news a bit about australia, it seems that you've got problems with lebos and muslim community in general, they're ruining your country as well now!

Cheers mate !

LOL Omariann,

Yes some regions have problems with trying to bring about a multicultural community.

Our region in Victoria has been reasonably successful, with a lot of African, Congo people and Chinese here.  I've not seen many issues with Islam here, apart from some youth being radicalised and heading off to join ISIS, and one wanting to blow himself up at our Anzac day memorial march in Melbournd, but, apart from that, very little unrest here in regional areas, more in other parts of the country.

The biggest issues here are the ice epidemic, so I should chain up my freezer, in case they try and break into it.





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