Alien (1979)

Heresy! Blasphemy! Doesn't everyone like this movie? I didn't. If a film is going to scare me, it has to make me believe what's going on in order to set me up for a good fright. I stopped believing in the plot and characters of Alien very quickly. Some of my issues:

o Nostromo is a deep-space ore ship? Did we use up all the minerals on the moon and in the asteroids?

o What's the safest way for non-explorers to investigate something on an unfamiliar, hostile planet? You all get into the shuttlecraft and crash on the surface, leaving no one back on the ship except the cat. Brilliant.

o Speaking of the cat, could someone tell me how he closed himself in that small locker so that he could jump out and scare the crewman? Do cats evolve thumbs and sense of humor in the future?

o The final scene aboard the escape shuttle is a real puzzler. Apparently a well-designed shuttle contains an assortment of poisonous gases that you can easily release into the passenger compartment...just in case.

I really wanted to like this movie; it remains a visual wonder. But I left the theater that day feeling cheated. I think we're all accustomed to cutting film-makers a bit of slack, but there were just too many times during this movie when I thought, "Oh, come one!" One faux pas was not fatal, but together they ruined the movie for me.

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I haven't seen it but I have no desire to. And the so called heartthrobs of the movie are just weird-looking.
ugh... I thought that was a given otherwise i would have suggested it myself LOL.

seriously... who wants to go watch a movie that has a protagonist who has an abusive, overbearing, superpowerful boyfriend that isolates her and makes her still feel SO IN LOVE all the way through the end, though she NEVER wisens up?

I think the series might have ACTUALLY been interesting if she started to realize that she was under emotional abuse and tried to get away, but she was so scared of her superpowerful boyfriend that she had to fake her death to get away from him and run away to stay with the werewolf, who takes her in and tries to hide and protect her. However, Edward eventually catches her scent and goes hunting her....WAIT... I think that's been done before (Sleeping with the Enemy)... LOL

when it somes to this love story shit everything has been done before.
Sounds like it's just another case of Stockholm Syndrome.
Your description makes me want to see it just to see how crappy it really is.

It's disturbing that our society portrays controlling, possessive, codependent relationships as normal instead of unhealthy. (like when songs about stalking are thought of as romantic love songs)
"really silly scenes of the girl being lugged about on his back up mountain sides and trees."

HAHAHA yeah, Jason, why don't you tear that up? You think the concept of using humans for electricity is stupid? How about a girl hanging on to the neck of a vampire as he tears through the forest at about 70 mph, jumping powerfully from tree to tree, yet the lurches never manage to throw her off or break her neck.
Well, I haven't seen the Twilight movies, and don't intend to, so I thought it wasn't really fair of me to comment. That said, yeah, vampire stories have a lot of obvious problems, even if you exclude the magical nonsense like shapeshifting and non-reflection in mirrors. How is a vapire photon different from a regular photon, and why in the world would it be different anyhow? Other issues:

- Why don't vampires with a conscience just kill bad guys? They'd be good at it--up all night like meth addicts, able to sneak around and spy on criminals. They could easily be highly valued members of society, but no, they always seem to prefer being hunted outcasts. Vigilante vampires should be far more common than they are in film and literature. I hated Interview with the Vampire because this extremely obvious solution to Louis's (Brad Pitt's character in the movie) crisis of conscience never occurred to him despite having a couple of centuries to ponder the problem.
- Why would vampires particularly care about propagating their kind? It seems sort of pointless to convert new people to vampirism. Why would you want the competition?
- Is goth culture really so appealing that people would want to spend centuries in it?
- Speaking of which, why is it that vampires don't age? Dead things still decay. What fends off entropy? Or is this one of those magic-y things we shouldn't inquire about?
- Fangs in the neck seems a very sloppy and inefficient method of sucking blood. I'm assuming they go for the carotid rather than the jugular, but still, it would take a while, and they never, ever seem to miss the blood vessel. Even professional phlebotomists aren't that good.
- People are on so many meds nowadays that vampires would suffer constant, serious drug interactions. The abundance of antidepressants alone would pretty much spell the end of the whole goth thing. Along with the bemoaning of the lonely fate of vampirism, the grief for lost loves of centuries past (they never seem to get over that shit--jeebus, it's called internet dating, people!), the inevitable seasonal affective disorder from lack of sunlight, and any tendencies toward subjugating the race of the living.
- One word: Osteomalacia. No sunlight and no dairy spells big trouble for bones.
- Another word: Constipation. Though that might explain their irritable dispositions.

Still, I'm not opposed to fantasy generally. I know going into a vampire movie that it's not about real things, so I can suspend my disbelief as long as the story follows its own rules. Science fiction is a little more annoying when they cross over into fantasy without telling me beforehand. At least with science fiction, there's a possibility that you can tell a story consistent with the laws of nature. For example, as far as I could tell, Gattaca didn't violate any physical laws. Star Trek and Star Wars, well, I just think of them as science fantasy and try not to worry about it too much.
actually, I have answers to a couple of your questions from friends who are vampire book fans (real vampire fans HATE twilight)

1. Vampires aren't simply strange humans. Vampires generally view themselves as a superior race to humans. They don't care who they kill. It's like saying "why not eat a grown cow instead of veal?" Because one tastes better, of course. They aren't afraid of humans catching them either. Several interpretations of vampires have them getting caught, slowing their heart to fake death (many animals are able to do this) and simply moving on once mistaken for dead.

2. well that one seems kinda self evident. Strength in numbers against their enemies, the werewolves, is a good enough reason. Also being an outcast is easier with company. Why do you think we're here on A/N? ;)

3. well yeah... vampire appeal is the darkness and aloofness. The goth atmosphere changes with author interpretations over time.

4. something about blood makes them stronger. now THAT doesn't exactly make a whole lot of sense because it seems like they would have to constantly be sucking blood to get enough concentrated nutrients to be ageless like that assuming that its possible for their system to process it efficiently. Honey never rots or ages due to the high enzyme count in it, so it makes sense that certain nutrients can severely slow aging. The problem isn't what, but how? This I haven't read enough vampire books to know.

5. oh come now, vampires have centuries to practice while doctors don't. That's not all that bad. As for fangs? Well, yes, perhaps with fangs as big as they are in the movies. Vampire bats seem to do a fine job.

6. HAHAHA ok well i don't know what to say about that one... if you are thinking about people's medication then you really need to stop thinking about movies so much. That hardly ruins one.

7: in humans, not vampires. Vampires aren't human. Only in some interpretations do they "convert" humans, as you said. In others they are simply a seperate species.

8. huh?

hows that? some of those explanations quench your thirst for being incredulous at everything? lol
5. Vampire bats attack sleeping creatures, and anesthetize the wound. Vampires attack struggling people, though sometimes you do see them attacking seduced or hypnotized people.

7. Yes, there are some variants in which vampires are not converted from human stock, and not even undead, but that would seem to be the exception, rather than the rule. Given your answer to 2., I suspect you're going by the Underworld ideas, which do make a tad more sense (well, except that you can't cut somebody's head in half without them noticing right away), but I'm sticking with the classic Dracula-inspired variants.

8. Vampires don't exactly eat a high-fiber diet.

Anyway, the point is that the standard vampire lore makes no sense, and most vampire stories don't bother trying to make it make sense. They just roll with it and expect me to as well.
Jason, you forgot what is, to me, the biggest issue with vampire mythology -

Why do most of them prefer to live in countries where crucifixes abound? Why don't they relocate to, say, China? Or even better, to Saudi Arabia? A niqab would be the perfect outfit for a vampire. With sunglasses they could venture in full daylight.
Excellent points, Jaume. And they mostly live in forested areas, where wooden stakes abound. Not so common in Saudi Arabia. I do think the niqab would need to be lead-lined, though. But that shouldn't be a problem for those with superhuman strength. Oh, do vampires sweat? They might have some trouble with overheating, or just staying hydrated, since all they drink is blood, which is awfully salty.
HAHAHA well! there you have an excellent point. Maybe Non-Christians taste bad or something or maybe they just like the challenge, just like big game hunting.
Why don't vampires with a conscience just kill bad guys?

Yeah, they could be like Dexter in vampire form!




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