I was at the library the other day and I noticed this woman was staring at me.  I stared at her until she looked away.  A few minutes later she plopped her butt in the chair across from me and said, "God told me to talk to you."

 

I told her that I did not hear a damn thing, I saw no burning bush and if she wanted to talk to me, the proper protocol was to introduce herself and ask my permission to bother me and I also told her that she and her kind are rude and very disrespectful.

 

She tried to introduce herself.  I told her too late and get up before I put my foot up her butt so far that the twelve disciples will have to open up their mouths to dust the bottom of my shoe off.

 

The whole section busted out laughing.

 

Some nerve

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Hell yeah! lol very nice.

A good reply would be "Wow! Amazing! Just this morning god told me that a woman would come up to me and say  just that very same thing! He also said that you would show your love for him by happily giving me the title to your car!"

 

;)

 

 

To really piss her off.

"Wow! Amazing! Just this morning god told me that a woman would come up to me and say  just that very same thing! He also said ...she should fall to her knees and kiss my ass."

  Although the car would be more practical choice.

LOL

"That's funny, Satan told me to talk to you"

Oh, I love this one!  XD

God spoke to me and said, "Those who believe I'm talking to them are fucking nuts"

Ya know ... if god was so hot to get the word to me, Why Does He Need YOU? Why Didn't He Talk To Me Directly?!?

Ego and the proselytizing christian ... gotta love it [no, not really]

That's hilarious. Did you think of that on the spot, or was it something you've thought of before? Either way, very creative.

On the spot.  I find myself getting cranky and rude to idiots in my advancing old age.  ;-)

Funny how "god" needs more help communicating then a fisherprice phone...  At least with that you can hear Elmos voice...

 

 

"Go tell it to the mountain." Oh, the fun of changing just one word.

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