Hi. I'm trying this whole atheist socialization thing again.  Last year, I tried at various times to become a regular at Pharyngula and at richarddawkins.net, but neither attempt quite stuck. In the latter, the forum upgrade confused me, which was disappointing, because after so many people objected to the forum upgrade, I really wanted to like it.

Anyway, so, here I am, trying to connect with atheists on the internet again.  I'm a new mother, a comic book artist, and a nature enthusiast.  I live on the coast, so coastal critters and marine life infatuate me right now.  I have big dreams of becoming a nature illustrator someday, but I've been lax in the key element required to meet that goal - practicing.

I blame my son.  He's a joy, but he doesn't tolerate Mama ignoring him with a pencil in her hand. Someday he'll go to preschool and then maybe I'll find more time to draw.

My history as an atheist is a bit muddled.  Retrospectively, I realize I've been an atheist for many years.  I found Christianity to be intolerably silly when I was in high school. But instead of abandoning religion altogether, I tried very hard to create a softer, more abstract spirituality.  It was fun for a while, but never fulfilling. At some point, I began to tell people that I wasn't seeking any one truth, but rather I was seeking for the sake of seeking.

Obviously that statement was intended to put people off while I began the long, introspective process of giving up on spirituality entirely.

My husband is gravely disappointed that I've stopped seeking.  I mean, much more disappointed than I'd ever expect him to be, considering that he spent the last 12 years being passively tolerant of my endless wacky explorations.  My Zen meditations, my nature magic... gah, all sorts of wacky stuff.  No, NOW he's upset.  Now that I've declared myself done with all that.

He's slowly warming up, though.  I still give him platitudes, like that I'm still spiritual deep inside, or that I might find something new once I'm done with atheism, but I think he's starting to realize that I'm still me and I've pretty much settled into a reason-based worldview.

I'm just happier now, and I think he can tell.

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Hi G. Silva, and welcome to Atheist Nexus! If you have any questions about how to navigate the site, feel free to ask. There's usually someone who will be glad to help. We have a category just for questions if the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) or Site Rules don't have the answer.

Some groups that might interest you: Parenting Little Heathens, Up Your Arts, Atheist Comic Fans, Atheists Who Are Artists,
...and Environmental Atheists.

My 15 minute window of opportunity timed-out before I could finish.

Hope your husband becomes less upset, and warms faster. It hadn't dawned on me that loved ones might be upset with a transition to atheism not because they are afraid one might burn in hell for eternity (some of my relatives might take delight at that thought for me), but because they are afraid that you/me won't still be you/me.

Oh, there's even a group for Happy Atheists!
I am reminded of the first big talk I had with my father. He asked me if I believe it's possible that some supreme being exists (paraphrase). I admitted that it is possible. He immediately took this as proof that I was "seeking" and said that he was relieved. I suppose if that helps him sleep at night then it's for the best.

Of course I haven't given up on him.
Thanks for the links, Grundgetta! I have now joined some groups and feel like I'm off to a good start.

As for the 'seeker' thing, well, I don't understand why it's important, but apparently it is important to some people.


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