Shit! what a story! I was 35 when I basically accused the medical establishment of murdering my unborns. I was pretty fed up with the medical establishment seeing women as mandatory breeders.
I think it's so important that we help other women to find these solutions, they're so hard to come by.
Wow, that's a hard question to answer (the original post-- haven't read replies yet). I don't think I ever really wanted kids, but I'm having a hard time coming up with a childhood memory where I either said yea or nay on the subject. Which may say enough right there-- as a child, I never played 'house' or anything like that. My friends and I, when we'd play make-believe, were always fantastic things-- whether we'd been reading Xanth or Star Wars (my best friend loved the Young Jedi Knights series) or whatever, we played at being magical heroes, or something like that. We never played at being mothers or having families. Why would we? That would be boring. It took a while before I realized that other girls liked those baby dolls I saw on TV. (I liked Barbie well enough, for a while, because she had a fun wardrobe that I still want. Baby dolls? Can't ever recall playing with one.)
As for when I realized it was my default? I don't know. I started saying I never wanted kids at about age 16, I think, but the 'oh, you'll change your mind' attitude I always got from people... perhaps it was simple politeness that made me agree that I might. It was maybe a year ago, perhaps a bit longer, that I realized I probably wasn't going to.
Comes a moment when we need to be honest with ourselves, and others. Though I always knew I didn't want to procreate, I too used to humour people about "maybe", but then again, I think I was fooling myself a little as well in doing so... I came to think... well maybe if I met the perfect man... but then I acknowledged that "meeting the perfect man" was no reason to procreate! I'd always wanted sterilisation, so I finally got it at age 30, that really sealed the deal...
In many ways it was just like taking the Blasphemy Challenge that happened a couple of years ago... a way of putting your actions where your mouth is :)
*hugs both of you*
I have never even had a pregnancy scare-- one of my friends had two or three in high school, and several since, where she was two or three weeks late on her period, and I couldn't (and still can't) imagine what that would be like. I think I've been a few days late, tops, and since I know I don't want to get pregnant, I tend not to take risks sexually that would lead me to worrying. But if it happened, I know I would want an abortion... and I can't imagine the horror of not having that option. I wouldn't even know where to start to get it done illegally.
You don't have to get an illegal abortion. You can get one relatively inexpensively and safely in Mexico City. As of 24 April 2007, Unless something has changed that I don't know about. Within first 12 weeks of pregnancy.
Still wonder why people who know they don't want children do not elect sterilization?
I had the same problem. Persistence is the answer. I can see how money could be an issue, but when you add up the avoided costs: contraceptives, pregnancy avoidance just to name a few . .the price starts to sound NOT so unafordable.
At least money's not an issue in Canada, as our health care is universal (note how I don't say free :)
In the end, it's all about politics. grumble. I just voted again yesterday, advanced voting. So I can bow out of reading all the shit promises politicians will spend their time wooing the masses with over the next several weeks... grumble.
Ok, done with my rant :)