I was about five when I decided I'd rather raise kittens than children. Before that, I can't remember thinking anything concrete about bearing children. I know I was given dolls to play with, but there came a certain point when I was disappointed with dolls, and definitely wanted books instead.

At about nine, when a relative by marriage commented on how I'd make someone a good wife someday(because I'd baked gingerbread from a box mix), I retorted that I never wanted to get married. Their reaction was as if I'd suddenly sprouted horns, a forked tail, and my breath took on the distinct aroma of brimstone.

How about you?

Tags: childfree

Views: 497

Replies to This Discussion

Heh. I've heard there's no such things as a perfect wedding. I think I decided I didn't want to get married about the same time I decided I didn't want kids. I've never been into frilly dresses, and roasting-to-death in some scratchy, too tight piece of frippery just seemed like something out of the Twilight Zone.

Glad to hear your parents are o.k. with your decision to possibly adopt in the future. That's such a big hurdle for so many people.
I never had good romantic luck, so I assumed that I would never get married, and grew to never want to get married. Then my boyfriend needed a visa...
I'm pretty sure there was never a time when I thought I'd want to pop one out. When I turned about 17, though, and started seeing all these girls I went to HS with having unwanted and unsupportable kids with these guys they hated, I was like OKAY BIRTH CONTROL NOW. I plan on getting surgically sterilised when I can afford it (or actually get a doc to do it!) and my partner is considering a vasectomy.

I don't have a problem with children, in fact, I rather like most of them. I remain open to the idea of adoption when I'm out of college, have a job, and only if my partner decides to do so. Actually, I had this fantasy when I was 8 or so that I'd grow up and adopt a houseful of little girls of every ethnicity. And hell, if I thought I had the patience for it, I would. But for now, I'm content with becoming a HS teacher and having a couple hundred screaming teenagers for only a few hours a week. :)

(I'm long-winded. Sorry.)
I'm all in favor of "long-winded" personal stories. It helps me get to know people better, which is why I'm on Atheist Nexus. I came here to meet like minds for potential socialization in person.

Kudos to you for being able to work with screaming teens.
Oh, I haven't started yet. I just finished my first year of college, but I have friends who are teachers, whom I've been helping out in the classroom from time to time. So I've only got a little experience with commanding those damn adolescents, but from what I've seen...aaah, I can take 'em. :)
You are made of sterner stuff than me!
I'd have to say that I've been what i would consider as childfree since I hit puberty. I never played house or being a mommy with dolls and the typical games little girls were supposed to play. I collected dolls, not played with them. I didn't like being around little kids, didn't like baby sitting, and certainly didn't like being forced to hold a baby cousin. As I got older, it was pretty much plain as day to me that I didn't want kids and don't particularly care to be around them. Thankfully, I found a guy who was as CF as I was.
I'm pretty sure I may have played with dolls before I started reading, but I don't remember that. There are a few pictures of me with dolls, so that could be proof.

Good to hear you have found someone who is CF as you are.
I was 11; I remember the precise place and time, 45 years ago. It was a kind of ethical decision, an insight. I realized that being a young kid is not that fun, because kids are rarely on control; because they don´t decide almost anything important; and because most people do not really like them. Older people make fun of kids, ridiculize them, do no respect them at all.
I like kids (and most kids adore me); kids deserve all my respect; and I respect them enormously. But, for a mother it is almost impossible to give such honest respect.
Good insight!
I don't understand this "biological clock". I've heard it talked about several times among women pretty much all my adult life, especially as I went into my 30's, but never felt it. I have never experienced any form of interest in having children, and there was no tick tocking in my body that pushed me into feeling that I must have children because of said clock. I will be 54 years old this summer, I've gone through menopause and I still feel the same regarding children as I did when I was in my early teens.

Did any other of the women (I've heard men experience the biological clock as well, but supposedly it's a driving force in women) on the board go through this feeling? Is it something we're missing?
I'm 26, going on 27, and mine must be on snooze. Permanent snooze, because I am not inclined towards having kids.


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