I've recently decided that to be remembered after my death, I will become an Evil, Evil person.  So my question to AN is, what should my traits be? describe to me the perfect evil person (humor is encouraged, especially satire!)  what should I stand for, or against?  


Tell me how to be EVIL 

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Step 1) make rape victims buy their own rape kits.
I've always thought that a prostitute organ farm might be a good way to built capital for an evil empire.
1) Adopt an authoritarian personality.
2) Become pro life while simultaneously being pro war.
3) Believe everything Fox News says.
4) Vote Republican.

You should be pretty sinister if you at least follow these four steps.
Convert to Wahhabi Islam.

Become a hunter of tigers, elephants, cheetahs, etc. Sell their fur, bones, ivory, whatever for psuedomedicine.

Have as many children as humanly possible by having multiple wives/girlfriends/rape victims.

Hoping you won't actually do any of these...
Never finish a single term in a seat of responsibility. Aspire for the highest office.
1) Maniacal laughter is a must.
2) Start a group dedicated to censorship and/or stage a book burning rally.
3) Randomly start dropping ruffies in the drinks of random girls at bars in the hope that someone rapes them.
4) Do the same to guys so they also get raped and/or have their kidneys stolen.
5) Become a Fox News Contributor.
6) Punch a kitten or a puppy.
7) Quote the bible in regular conversation.
8) Add hotsauce to someone's visine or contact cleaner solution.
9) Kidnap a group of children and raise them to be a group of assassins.
10) Two words-human trafficking.
I'd imagine to be considered 'evil' you'd have to attack puppies and kittens on a fairly regualr basis. To guarantee your statis make sure a group of you children is watching during said animal attack.

Great video though.

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