I was a member on this forum about four years ago, and then about two years ago, I went back to faith. I came to the conclusion recently, that all this time, I have had an atheist mindset, but a believer's heart if that makes sense. My grandmother who I was very close to, died a little over two years ago when I was an atheist. I didn't know how to process her death without the comfort of faith. Even if I could logically process that faith is all BS, I still felt this deep ache, and it left me searching for answers...searching for other faiths, even. I came back to faith, and over the past several weeks, have abandoned faith, again. 

I created a new account here because I forgot my password from the former account. lol I hope that everyone here has been doing well, and I look forward to gaining some advice and possibly support from others who left faith, and struggled with the emotional side of that change. 

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Loss is loss, Deidre, and it can be a bear to deal with.  The only way I've found to manage loss is to reflect on who that person was in my life, what he or she brought to my own life and how I grew and benefited from that person's presence.  Sometimes it helps a lot and sometimes not so much, but at least for me, trying to fool myself into believing in an utterly unsubstantiated afterlife ... nope, that one's a complete non-starter for me.  Your mileage may vary.

And in any case, welcome back!

welcome back :D

Hi Loren, agreed. I didn't really get caught up in thinking about an afterlife, it was more that I just didn't know how to process such loss without faith. I've lived most of my life as a theist, so it just felt foreign to me, but now I feel that emotions are what drives that faith need. And that's the bigger issue, not running our entire life by our emotions. Thanks for the welcome :) 

Thanks Imaginary Cat Owner, hope you;re good. :)

Hi Deidre

Hi Glen! Nice seeing you again. It's been too long. :) Hope you're doing well.

Welcome back, D. I remember you and many of your posts.

Thanks Michael, I remember you, too! I look forward to joining in again. :)

Deidre, welcome back.

I've been an atheist since I can remember. Like you I tried to make myself believe the fairytales of religion. Unlike you, when we lost our 18 year old son in a car wreck, I didn't try the faith thing again. I came out as openly atheist. We all deal with loss in our own way. I found more comfort in believing in science. Because if there is a god he's a prick :)

Oh but Kathy - it was part of God's plan. Yeah I know, you or I could have made a better one..

Lol Bertold. You always have a comeback :)
Hi Kathy! And thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss. And yea, we all deal with loss and grief differently but escaping into faith really didn't help the pain. Reality really isn't as scary as religious zealots would want us to believe.

Welcome back Deidre, sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Yes, it would be nice to see her again and be with her one day. Comfort in the time of great pain is a nice thing to have, but sadly, it is only a mirage. The pain is real, embrace it; it is your friend revealing the depth of your love for her. Over time, it evolves into sweet memories of her and your times with her. 

I'm glad you returned to us; I remember you fondly. 




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