Hello all, Im new to the site and very happy to find this community free of fairytales. Im married with 2 children and another on the way. I have been with my christian wife for 12 years. I have just anounced my non belief recently. My problem is the children of course. She accepted my quiting church (5 years ago) and is close to being okay with me being atheist. But she gets very upset if anything is mentioned around my kids. My oldest is 6 and full of questions. I would fill like a bad parent if I didnt tell my son the truth when he asks me if somthing is real or why I dont go to church. I love my family and do not want a divorce but I do not want to watch her feed them theism at this age and she would leave me if I told them there was no god when he asked. I told him if he wanted to go to church fine but he didnt have to and that was bad in her eyes. Any ideas on how to handle this? Am I wrong? should I just keep my mouth shut? thanks for reading and any suggestions offered.
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I have a similar, if later in life, experience.
Married in the Catholic church, followed with 3 kids. "Kids" are now 23,22,17.
My wife knows and loathes the fact I've stepped away from the non-sense that is theism and religion.
My 23yo knows and prefers to keep his religious roots. The other 2 don't know yet at all.
I still go to church with her and 17yo to keep the peace. But find myself grinding my teeth almost every time and then in an emotional funk afterward.
No answers here, just letting you know you're not alone.
Have you considered involving your wife in these little chats? I can imagine it going something like this:
"Daddy, did Jonah really get eaten by a whale?"
"Well, some people believe that. Mommy does. But may people think it's just a story, like Snow White. That's what I think."
"Why do you think that?"
"If you really want to talk about it, why don't you wait until sometime Mommy and you and I can all talk about it together?"
She can hardly blame you for being too pushy if you insist on waiting to answer any in-depth questions until she is around. And I think it would allay any suspicion that you are trying to "turn" your kids away from her if she gets to hear everything you are saying.