I want to break free from the Sabbath but i always fear something bad will happen if do something "wrong"

I stopped keeping the sabbath (church, ministries) but i still feel anxious about doing stuff on saturdays (going out, attending birthdays, watching movies) even a simple walk in the park is triggering and i always feel like im going to hell like every day every second. i need help! im sick and tired of keeping the sabbath its nauseating

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Cu, was it a block in your brain or an emotional need that slowed your separation.

I ask that for two reasons: 

1) It wasn’t a block in my brain; I was leaving behind what had been a kind of safety net. I had been taught to ignore emotions, even when acting on powerful emotions, anger or fear.

2) I had been in the Navy and knew better than to trust everyone. While reading of the world’s major religions I saw that they all had a form of the xian golden rule and knew I wasn’t entering a jungle.

Compared to those two difficulties, getting rid of twelve years of Catholic education required only to see that there is no evidence for religious beliefs.

I tell myself a story about myself; some call this a "racket." The story and racket work to paint a picture of who I am in my brain, my self-concept. If I believe the noise, I live to that image. I thought that racket this morning when my phone systems confused me; I had over 50 messages on my answering machine and could not remember how to respond to them or erase them. I pushed each button, and none of them performed the way I wanted.

The 1st response I got angry and wanted to toss the damned thing in the trash;

The 2nd response I tried very hard to read the labels and could not;

The 3rd response I felt helpless;

The 4th response I asked Larry for help.

Problem solved. My reactions confirmed my racket: I am an idiot!

I told Larry and Laura, who came into my room to see what the conversation involved. I said, "I am an idiot!" Laura's responded, "Oh! What evidence do you have?" I told her, and her response was a typical one from her, "You can believe that about yourself if you want, however, I know of your fine and intelligent features," or something to that effect. 

The racket, challenged when I thought about it, evaporated. 




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