If this wasn't so stupidly ridiculous, it would be laughable.

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. – Televangelist and 700 Club host Pat Robertson, 83, today interrupted a segment of his show dedicated to fielding audience questions to describe the method by which he has remained “straight and AIDS-free” throughout his long preaching career. Robertson—whose show reaches nearly 1 million viewers a day—said that, since 1969, he’s been wearing an “anti-sodomite” necklace, which, according to Robertson, “repels homosexuals and other queers, and keeps [him] free of their abhorrent lifestyles and gay diseases.”

“With all the gayness poisoning our great nation these days, you might think it’s only by God’s grace that I have managed to remain straight and healthy through it all,” Robertson told his viewers. “But, for once, this was no miracle—I have only my gay-repelling necklace to thank, which has kept all sexual degenerates at least 20 feet away from me for the last 44 years, ever since the stonewall riots convinced me the gays were coming for my heterosexuality.”

Robertson neglected to fully explain the necklace’s powers, revealing only that “it involves hyper-masculine materials, such as moose semen and barbed wire,” but said that he is finally ready to share it with the world. “For only ten easy payments of $59.99, you too can protect yourself from fancy-boy, disease spreading homosexuals,” Robertson said. 700 Club producers expect sales of the necklace to generate substantial funds for the show, which netted over $400 million in donations in 2005 alone.

Robertson’s unveiling came as a response to inquiries concerning comments he made on his show earlier this week. On Tuesday, Robertson used a portion of his show to claim that American homosexuals in cities like San Francisco are intentionally spreading AIDS via “specials rings” that “cut your finger” during handshakes and thereby infect you with the deadly HIV virus. “Really,” the host said. “It’s that kind of vicious stuff, which would be the equivalent of murder.”

“Lots of people wrote in to ask how they can protect themselves from these queer, ring-toting murderers,” Robertson said Thursday. “Well, that made me realize I had to come clean about my anti-gay necklace. It’s time for the world to know.”

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I'm pretty sure this is a spoof. I found it on Landover Baptist site, it is a spoof site.

Daniel, I think this may be 'legit' as least as far as Robertson goes. I found it here, and here. This may very well be Poe, and being repeated by the sites I cited - I'm not saying it isn't, but it sure as hell sounds like him. Especially given his previous statements about gay people intentionally spreading AIDS with rings that cut unsuspecting strangers with a handshake. That one was true.

Pat, Newslow is also a spoof site, that tries to emulate The Onion.  The Ghana site gives their source as Newslow.  So I say Poe.

I'm happy to criticize and complain and shake my head about Robertson being a complete dumbshit.  I just don't want to be sucked in to a fraud because I want to believe it.  Or have other people believe it, and then lose credibility when they find out it's not true.

love a good story as much as anyone.    Especially if it's from a reliable source, regarding Robertson.

I like how Newslo has buttons to "Show Facts" (highlight the grains of truth embedded in an article) and "Hide Facts".

Wouldn't be the first time I've been suckered, and probably won't be the last. He's such an easy target, given all the other ridiculous and disgusting things he has said and done.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING SHITTING ME!!!!  Unfortunately, I looked this up and you're not. 

Moose semen? If I were Bullwinkle, I'd be hiding out right about now. But hey, if his magic amulet works, can we get one to keep the religious cooties away from us?

There's more magic in Bullwinkle's errant top hat than Robertson could ever lay claim to, even if the mighty moose never managed to produce a rabbit from it.

There's one born every minute, and two to take him.
-- P. T. Barnum (allegedly)

Spoof or not it fits that lunatic to a t.

I'm not gay, but I think this man is a lunatic! How could one person ever be that much a fearing homophobe? I do admit however, I am protected by my special omulet. I fixed one just this morning.

Seriously folks, a ring that gays wear to cut you and deliberately give you AIDS. Once they are infected themselves do they make these rings or buy them at the "Infectem" ring place? If they cut you with their ring and have cut you to infect you, do they first have to cut themselves for this to work? If so, the gay man would openly excuse himself while he cut himself, then he would shake hands with you. Why don't somebody ask that old fuk how this shit works. Make him feel embarassed and leave him with no answers.

I'm surprised he isn't somewhere over in Africa checking on his diamond mines. Yeah, people can't come too close to me after I eat my special omulet either. Especially if I put garlic in it. I keep away gays and everybody else too.

As I said once before on this site, sometimes I can’t help feeling like I’m in a bad Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon.

Anyway, I just got done watching a recap Anderson Cooper did of some of Robertson’s other more memorable idiotic moments on 700 Club (including a portion about the “queer ring”) but I can’t seem to find any video links about this anti-gay necklace.

That's funny. My workplace is just like a Dilbert cartoon, Except .dilbert is less surreal.

I loved Rocky and Bullwinkle. It was so subversive for its time.




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