It is a tragic event when a son or daughter comes to their religious parent and proclaims their atheism. It is usually never good. Like scenario A: (which happened to me) Son comes to mother says I am an atheist, mother tries not to judge, son wants to talk about it to her, mother does not.

This leaves a huge elephant in the room that we both try to ignore. Am I so wrong that I dont want to ignore it? I want to talk about my beliefs to someone who has told me all of my life that my soul will burn in hell for eternity for how I now believe (or don't believe as I pointed out to her). It makes a normally pleasant mother rude and mad. I get hurt and it usually ends in a yelling match. We both blame the other.

I am sure to her this confirms that atheism has made her wonderful son a militant and is a bad thing to be avoided. How do I talk to her about my eternally damned soul, and that she needs not worry. I am sure this happens a lot. I have heard Christians share stories about their son/daughter turning atheist and that it has turned their otherwise sweet child into a devil. Theists on average get mad discussing the topic, its just a fact. Atheists can see it as any other topic and can talk candidly about it. I was hoping to psychologically analyze this debacle and help all other new atheists in this situation.

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What if she says she is going to pray for you. What would you say?
Who knows what those spur of the moment responses would produce. I think it may be an, "ok" or "whatever makes you feel good" or something along those lines. I would probably try to change the subject or leave. If she persisted, I would probably ask if she has read any of the material I had given her. That would give me an easy way to end that.
My family has experienced a few deaths and illnesses over the past 2 years. It has caused a huge resurgence of god and church stuff with everyone but me. I'm having a hard time enduring it, and my mother is starting to suspect that I don't believe or at least that I am not religious enough. She sent me a birthday card a few weeks ago and told me that I needed to be, "Thinking about where my soul would spend eternity," and also asked, "Do you not believe in the God of the Bible?" When we talked on the phone later, I didn't mention that part of the card. I think my silence spoke volumes. For years, I faked it and even went to church with them when I was home. I can't swing that anymore. I thought I could follow the don't ask/don't tell format with this, but she going to ask me the next time I visit, and I'm going to be honest with her.
It just isn't capitalized. I suppose I don't like the look of a capital d. Thanks for the input. And it is cute that you were an atheist kid. I was always a skeptic. I remember drilling my mother (because my father, while a xtian, knows nothing about the bible) on things like Noah's Ark and a virgin birth and all the nonsensical well known stories. My father and grandfather are Masons, and when I asked my grandmother (an atheist), what that meant, she told me that it meant they didn't ever have to go to church and they could still get into heaven. I instantly wanted to be a mason. Zombie jesus, what a bunch of crap.
Wow, a very personal death is what brought me to atheism.
That is interesting. I imagine that is true of a good share of people. I definitely became solidified on "coming out" after the funeral of my brother last year. It was rife with fire and brimstone bullshit. Sickening.
If you are like me it will at first be painful, but you you will feel like a new stronger self. You will feel more like you and not a fake.
That is what I've been thinking. When I told my parents I was gay, it was kind of the same thing. I have NEVER regretted it.
I agree. You need to address her abuse when it happens or else it will go on forever. I think I am going to have a little stash of ammunition that I am going to dole out every time my mother talks religion to me. For example, "Did you know that there have been scientific studies that have shown that prayer does nothing to heal the sick? or Did you know that there are at least 5 pagan gods that came before Jesus who also were born of a virgin in a nativity, taught in the temple at age 12, crucified at age 30 and resurrected the third day? or Did you know that there were 20 Roman historians in Jesus day and none of them mentioned the existence of Jesus.?"

You can plant these seeds of doubt and let her know you have done your homework and you did not take your decision to be atheist lightly. I think she will leave you alone if you do this. I will let you know if it works when I do it on my end.
I haven't "come out" to my uber-religious mom yet. She basically knows in her heart that I am different than her in my beliefs. I was raised Lutheran, forced to go to church every week, I hadn't believed since I was probably 10, I was a little pagan. More recently I realized that I am an atheist, it was so liberating for me personally. But, I am a very very non-confrontational person and I just don't know how to tell her. I even had my daughter baptized in a church so I wouldn't have to fight about that. I know she worries about completely ludicrous things, like I will go to Hell (how can you go somewhere that Christians invented) I told her long ago that I don't believe in Hell or Satan, that Christianity lifted that from pagans, she got mad at me. I feel like I should tell her, but at the same time, why bust her bubble? I refuse to watch any kind of show that could possibly start a religious argument, because she has an answer for everything, its completely ridiculous. You are right, Christians as a whole cannot stand to be questioned about anything, they get extremely angry and defensive, you just can't win an argument.




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