I'm impressed! The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks. Damn hippie! Tonight I came home to this circular:
Jesus has really cleaned up his act. A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again. Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.
I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway. Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.
Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?
Well, at least everyone is smiling. They all have nice white teeth, too! Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.
Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted. I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them. He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.
Maybe next time. I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.
You're right! I think the picture is called, "Who's nailing whom?"
Q. What were the last words Jesus heard before he was crucified?
A. "Cross your feet. We only have three nails."
"What would you think if a man in a white robe grabbed you from behind like that? I say use the mallet right away."
I dunno. It looks like that's what the guy with the hammer was praying for. There's something erotic about all xian services, hymns, and prayers...both homo and hetero.
When I was still going to church (when I was in high school), I couldn't help snickering at the song, "In the Garden." It sounds like a middle-aged spinster's wishful fantasy:
I always thought that was one of the most cloying hymns I've heard.
Sounds like a possessive stalker to me!
Tells me that some people like their Savior to be up close and personal. In fact, I (a Jew who never heard it) find it crypto-sexual: can there be any doubt that the last two lines refer to post-coital ecstacy?
I don't know. When I was 16 I didn't know what "post-coital" meant, but it always sounded like an icky love song to me. I imagined a middle-aged woman who wore shapeless knit suits and orthopedic shoes, walking in her garden and dreaming about a man...any man...who would add some romance to her life. (This was in the 1950s)
The old ladies in the congregation loved it, so maybe they did secretly find it a bit of an erotic turn-on.
This link has nothing to do with the subject of this discussion, but when I mentioned "old ladies" whatever I use for a mind veered to this:
There is a sexual undercurrent in Christianity whether or not you read this particular hymn that way. Nuns are called brides of Christ and wear wedding bands. Saint Catherine of Sienna is supposed to have received Christ's foreskin from the Lord himself as a wedding band in a vision of ecstasy. Saint Teresa described a vision of ecstasy in which Christ or an angel was piercing her with his long golden spear and making her moan:
I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.
Even in the Old Testament we find in the Song of Solomon a verse that is very suggestive:
My beloved put in his hand by the hole [of the door] and my bowels were moved for him.
We are told that this is describing the relationship between Christ and his church. Needless to say these aspects are not emphasized in Sunday School lessons.
Thanks for revealing the creepy underbelly of Catholicism as only an insider could. Not surprised, though.
Never been an insider as far as Catholicism goes, although for a time I dated an ex-nun.