Any on here?
We have two amazing children and recently decided we want two more... we are not loaded, but comfortable. Personally my drive is that I love how we parent together and we have an awesome relationship. As one who was brought up with religion the "God has more out there for me..."'s are like nails on a chalkboard in the back of my head. Has anyone had expeirence with this?
Growing up mormon it was just a no-brainer that there would be lots of kids underfoot whether you wanted it or not, then as an adult with my own views I only wanted two (because of all the normal reasons; money, space, time w/child.), now today as a mother of two I totally believe I/We can/want to do this! That should be enough right!?
I guess my biggest internal issue is that I have never known anyone who planned on a big family (is 4 kids even considered big these days?) The stories I know are the ones who had one child and a bunch of 'suprises' or God 'sent' them aaaaaall their kids (haha) -never yes, we wanted/had *this* many kids and planned for it.
Thniking I just need to hear from some new people! :)
We did look into that, my boyfriend and I are not married... that's their #1.
I know you have to jump through all kinds of government hoops (like signing a marriage license) - but still, it's got to be easier than 18 months (for two kids) pregnancy. And while I don't think there's anything sacred about marraige per se, I do think it's reasonable for the adoption agency to ask that you demonstrate your commitment to one another before they entrust you with a child to raise. They have to hedge their bets somehow.
More to the point, adopting provides care for kids who are already in the world and need a home. I was adopted, so I guess I'm biased. My wife and I had one of our own, and felt a bit conflicted about bringing a new life onto this overcrowded planet. But we got over it! The experience of having and raising our own child is something I'm very glad we didn't miss out on! But if we were in a financial position to raise more, I think we would adopt.
Just food for thought.
"I do think it's reasonable for the adoption agency to ask that you demonstrate your commitment to one another before they entrust you with a child to raise. They have to hedge their bets somehow."
and thank you for weighing in :)
The world DOES need more freethinkers...hmmmm :)
Very happy for you that you didn't have to squeeze Sun. service into your already hectic lifestyle, and I could see how that would be the perfect trigger for a high anxiety child.
Good Job Momma!
I know it happens but I have a hard time even imagining how anyone can have a "bunch of surprises" - don't they know how it works?! I don't usually ask people how many children they plan(ed) to have but it seems like when the topic comes up that most had some idea of how many they wanted. But most people I know do have 2-4 kids, it's those that have more that seem to not have planned for it.
So I wonder. If adopting was something you really wanted to do would it be worth getting married for? We have two kids but for a time I wanted one more. I'm just not sure that wanting more kids is reason enough for a responsible family considering the state of our planet and population growth. For me that would be part of my decision process.
Oh the countless plotholes of religion...
So it can be done! LOL
I totally support your decision. You can have no kids if you chose or you can have 10, it's up to you. Unless you live in... China.
In Africa the birth rate is about 5 times the average birth rate of the rest of the world, and the majority are religious families... while at the same time physical conditions (on average) are near the worst in the world. So really if anywhere needs birth control it's Africa... and now I don't know where I'm going with this :P
It's cool, I'm with you... lol This world is a pretty messed up place and once you start talking 'problems' one just spills into the other...
Side note -did you watch the movie/doc. 'Babies'? There is this scene of the African mother where the (always naked) infant poops on her leg and she wipes it off w/ a corn cob and just keeps on keepin' on... sorry, that's all I can think of when I think of little babies in Africa now :P
(wow, now I feel like an ass because of all the starving baby pics in the commercials...damn)