Joseph Langston said in another thread his religious relative accused him of "...just being angry with God." This prompted an idea. If it's been done here already... we can kill the thread.

Let's build a library of religious platitudes-- the dumbass hackneyed sayings Christians throw out like so much bullshit that it makes you laugh everytime you hear them.

Here is partial list drawn from actual experience / observation:

Basic death Platitudes for other Believers:
“Don’t be sad, Little Timmy is with Jesus now.”
“Just trust God.”
“God called little Bobby home.”
“Little Susie is in our prayers.”
“She’s in a better place now.”
“Jesus holds you in His loving arms during your hour
of grief.”
“I’ll offer blessings of comfort and strength.”
"God works in strange and mysterious ways."
"Who are we to know God's plan."
“I’ll pray for you.”

Proselytizing Platitudes:

“Just open your heart to Jesus.” (also known as the
“Stop Thinking!!” gambit)

“The proof of Him is all around you.”
“Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior let Him be yours
as well.”
“He died for your sins.”
“Why are you angry at God?” or "Why do you hate
“If a Christian hurt you at some time, I’m sorry.”
“You deny Him with your words, but you know that He
“The Lord loves you and He is quite capable to communicate
that to you and to cause you to believe, whether
you want to or not.”
“I’ll pray for you.”

Pissed off Platitudes:
“You’ll see the error of your ways when you standeth
before Him and tremble!”
“Every knee shall bend … you just wait!”
“Only a fool says there is no God! Thou art a Fool!!”
“If you don’t believe in God and Heaven, why don’t you
just kill yourself!?”
“I’ll enjoy watching you burn in Hell for eternity.”
"You're taking that scripture out of context!!"
"So what if you know the Bible, even Satan can spout scripture."
“I’ll pray for you.”

Anyone have any others/favorites to share?


Views: 1766

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Oh, nice one!! ... and a great reply to that one is;
"But in John 20 it says Thomas got to stick his finger in Jesus' abdominal wound to convince him. I'm up for that!!"

(of course, you wouldn't want to give grandma a stroke)

jc28-2.gif picture by PopePiAss

Hey Bro!!! never fail to amaze!!!

Here's my dissection: you should have asked, "oh, okay, Grandma, then which stage comes after that? And by the way, which stage are you in? Who formulated these stages? Are they based upon empirical research and sound scientific theory? Is it a sequential model, or do people sometimes regress? Is it possible to jump stages? Are you just saying that because you're old and stink of senescence and the faint whiff of impending death??"
Here's one my sister has said a lot: "God has a plan and a purpose for everything," or "God is just testing me."
Kristi yes!!
That reminds me of one the anti-pro choicers like to toss out: "God has a plan for every child."
To which I always ask:
>"... then since 50% of abortions are spontaneous miscarriages, was his plan for those children "land fill?" and/or:
>"Was his plan for the children named Pol Pot, Stalin, and Hitler, to thin out the populations of Cambodia, Russia and Europe?"

I never get an answer. Go figure.

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist"
Does this even count? :)

Was it around before it was a movie quote? It's pretty sad that they go to movies before quoting the bible.
It was!

It looks like this quote first appeared in a short story by French Poet Charles Baudelaire in his 1864 short story, "Le Joueur Généreux."

Here is a link to the English translation:

I found it to be an interesting read, and it's only two pages long.

If you're fortunate enough to read French, here it is in the original French:
I hear, "just be open-minded" a lot. However, it's never treated as a two-way street. I should be open-minded about their religion, but they refuse to be open-minded to... well, everything else. I suppose it's a lot like "opening your heart," whatever the hell that means. And, it's completely ungraspable (I think I made a new word!) to them that I am the one being open-minded, and used to be a believer, but then actually gave some thought to what I was being fed and came to my own conclusions!
Good one.

I always tell them something to the effect of "... while my mind is always open to new theories supported by evidence, I cannot allow myself to open my mind to the point where my brain falls out and is stomped on by pre-scientific man-god worshipping cultists. I've seen it's effect and its not pretty."

That's when the "pissed off platitudes" start to fly :)
"Where a man has a passion for meditating without the capacity of thinking, a particular idea fixes itself fast, and soon creates a mental disease." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


© 2019   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: The Nexus Group.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service