Why are there no atheist/agnostic Limericks? Do we lack humour? I throw out a friendly challenge to readers to compose their own Limerick. Although not a wordsmith, in the spirit of competition I will give it a try first:

Note: Magog IS a town in Canada!

A dyslexic agnostic from Magog
Was attacked by a beast in a bog
He prayed for salvation
And was saved by a dalmation,
Does this prove the existence of Dog?

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I’m not all that much of a poet

And the shame is I really do know it

While my brain feels cancered

As my prayers go unanswered

I tell Jesus to go fu^&ing stow it.

OK. I'll be the first to admit. It's lame! Then again, it should be fairly easy to top.


there once was a man from cape cod
who was deathly afraid of his god
when he went to his church
he realized with a lurch
that his religion was really a fraud.


Just off the top of my head:

With religion I've always a beef,
And I wish I could get some relief.
The thing about god:
It's impossibly odd.
The whole matter is beyond belief!

Hey, how about a haiku?

              Unicorns race by

               Invisible man looks down

                My fevered dream stops.

Just couldn't think of a good limerick yet. Working on it.

Thanks for all the responses, that was fun, hey wait, how did the haiku get into an irish poetry thread?

Thanks to annet, I figured I couldn't be the only atheist who likes limericks! Surely this must lead to an annual atheist limerick competition............

Michael, mea culpa. It was me. Just couldn't think of a good limmerick, so the haiku. So, in keeping with that, just let me say gomennasai.

A few years ago, we had a discussion about limericks on the Human_ism email list. Collected from those emails:

From Dasha Marshall:
A charming young miss from Cape Cod
Announced she had no faith in God.
"To believe in a guy
Who's unseen in the sky-
I find that decidedly odd."

An atheist came in from Perth
And said, "It's a great life on Earth.
I'll be kind and make friends
And live well til my end-
I'll make each day a day full of worth."
From Charles K. Clarkson:
Google is your friend.


The Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form

<example http://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php?VerseId=17896>;

An atheist honors no god.
Some people would call one a clod,
Asking, "Who made the Earth?"
Here's a question of worth:
"Who made God, then?" No answer? How odd. . . .


That seems to be part of a limerick "battle". Take a look at
this topic.

(a lot of limericks at this link: 142 of them, some of them excellent, a few not obviously on our topic.)

You can see all the topics here.



There is also a wonderful battle at the raving atheist
archive. The comments are a riot. glenstonecottage is the atheist
and " My 2 cents" is the Christian. If you are offended by
references to sex with farm animals of foul language you may want
to skip this one. :)


Here's some "clean" ones:


The Good Lord spent six days creatin'?
Well, the account's just a little frustratin'!
For it doesn't tell why
(Though it does not deny)
That "Good Lord" created "Bad Satan".

Tho' the xtians come out of the woodwork,
And seem to have most of the say,
If we keep making fun,
Of each and every one,
Then maybe they'll just go away.



Here's a few more

Charles K. Clarkson
From Emma Waghorn:

A precocious young student from Kew
Told her teacher, "I'm loath to pooh-pooh
Your attempts to appease us
With stories of Jesus
But somehow it doesn't ring true."

A Lutheran preacher named Herman
Lost his faith in the midst of a sermon
He tumbled from grace
With a smile on his face
And began quoting Nietzsche, in German.
From David Wilkes:

There was a young monk from Siberia
Who felt so very inferior
'til he did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And now she's a mother superior
Two more from Emma Waghorn:

A happy old hippie called Bostick
Loves the scent of a sandalwood joss stick
Though you might think him weird
From the beads in his beard
He's a shrewd, level-headed agnostic

A beautiful sceptic from Norway
Once unfrocked a young priest in a doorway
She said, "I'm your prize
If you secularise."
And he answered her, "Fine, have it your way."
From Name Withheld:

All thinkers and doubters unite.
Get ready to fight the good fight.
In this new silly season,
They challenge all reason.
Should they win - well - for us it's, "Good Night."
Janice Rael provides a link:
The folks at Internet Infidels are having a field day with the atheist
limerick project.


Thanks for the inspiration. Enjoy the laughs!
From somewhere:

A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Saracen.
She was not oversexed,
Or jealous or vexed,
She just wanted to make a comparison.
An old one:

There was a young lady named Alice
who peed in a Catholic chalice.
But the Bishop agreed
'twas done out of need
and not out of Protestant malice.




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