now if you have read my othert discussions you'll understand my "pain" as "I" say. now im 20 no experience with girls in every category, im horny , i cant find a job, afford college, and have no car:(. see i m white and like other forms of music other than rap, but live in  "urnan"/ "american ghetto " neighborhood. i've never been laid, made out once, and have never try humped or had or gavwe oral sex :(. see girls my age expect a guy wwith experience and a little money, sadly i have neither. now i need advice, should i pay for a prostitute or escort, with a little saved cash i saved. any sugeestions?

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You don't have to feel bad for being a virgin at this age. I remember also feeling like I was the last virgin on Earth at around age 19. I technically lost my virginity on January 1, 2000--I say technically b/c he was drunk, and kept it up for only a few seconds. I went from being technically a virgin (I had lesbian sex with my best friend once) to technically not. And for a few years after that I still felt romantically cursed, like other people knew about some boyfriend/girlfriend store where they could instantly get boyfriends/girlfriends one after the other. I also felt like all the other gays and bisexuals were out partying and I was stuck in an isolated town. It seemed I had a 100% rejection rate. My favorite excuses were always "I don't want to hurt you" (gee, it doesn't hurt to be rejected???) and "I don't want to ruin our friendship" (should have thought of that before you made out with me?) and I also seemed to get turned down for being inexperienced--so apparently sex is the same as a job interview, you're supposed to have experience but no one wants to give you a chance to get experience. (There are always those who want to "deflower" someone though, and it isn't just males to females. I'm also a little sad that I never got a chance to take anyone's virginity!)

I don't think people should have to feel "pathetic" or embarrassed to be a virgin at any age. I'm all for sexual freedom but also people shouldn't have to feel like they have to do anything. The truth is there ARE plenty of people who are virgins in their early (or even late) 20s, for whatever reason. I don't think it's just religious people who want to wait until they're older--some people just don't want to take on that risk at a young age when people are immature. Some people didn't find a suitable partner b/c they're shy or didn't fit in with the people around them. It's just the way it's happened for some people.

It's hard for me to advise about paying for it, b/c that wasn't really an option and I don't know how good, or how educational, they are. They can be expensive though and risky.
Meh. Sex doesn't really change anything about who you are. Once you have it you find your the same old person. It'll happen sooner or later.
Huh? He's in Michigan. Isn't prostitution and brothels illegal in all states except a few counties in Nevada? Should you be encouraging him to do something illegal just to lose virginity?

Micheal, have you tried online dating sites? There is always going to be someone out there in the same boat as you and are looking for the same thing. And there is numerous ways to take care of your horniness thru masterbation.
Plus the cost of a passport and the trip across. But yes, I was about to also suggest going into Canada if you feel the need to find a prostitute.

But I have to add, IMO, giving in and hiring a prostitute is not going to make you feel better - it might backfire on you and make you feel worse. I like the advice from Rock Girl.
First you need a plan. Even if it's not a great plan, the plan can be altered as you go along. My suggestions...

1. VOLUNTEER. Volunteering will get you possible job contacts as well as possible exposure to girls.

2. EXERCISE. Can't tell from the picture if you do or not. If not start out with simple stuff like pushups/crunches.

3. GET A THING. Find something you are passionate about and cool. This will make you standout fromm the other guys.

4. YOU HAVE TO GET OUTTA THE GHETTO. I lived in an urban environment... it sucks. This is a longterm goal (maybe... maybe not).

5. EDUCATE YOURSELF. Hit the library. Read. You will have something to talk about.

6. TALK TO GIRLS. Don't try anything fancy. The more you do it the better you will be.

7. BATHE/DRESS. A lot of guys just don't get the "take a bath/shower" thing seriously. Try to look good without looking like you're trying to look good.

Those are my suggestions. Good luck!
Andrew seriously has the best advice, in my opinion.

I can't speak for all girls, but intelligence is really sexy. You don't have to have a degree to be smart or worthwhile. Reading is a great idea and the library is free. Learn to play an instrument, or learn to cook one great meal. Add to your 'social value'.

Guys who volunteer, come across as loving, sweet and responsible. Especially if it's something you really are passionate about. Because then you will meet girls who are also loving and responsible, and you will have a cause in common.

#7 is really very, very, very, important. Hygiene is vital. Clean clothes, clean mouth, clean body will get you further than a car ever will. If you have a bike, you can look environmentally responsible, some girls dig that. :)

Get out of the house! Don't only talk to really hot girls, don't go into a conversation with your end goal only being sex. I have never tried a dating site, but use a free site. Paid sites, mathematically speaking, don't work. There's an article about it online...

I think buying sex isn't going to be the best idea. Maybe it's because I am a chick, but I would hate for my first intimate memory to be with someone I paid. I think that honestly takes away from it. You may be uncomfortable and someone who doesn't care for you or about you may not treat you with the kindness you may want. And I also think losing your virginity isn't the most important thing in the world and certainly not worth spending the last part of your dough on. It could prevent a girl in the future from being intimate with you.

Be yourself. Trust yourself. Don't let your virginity make you feel unusual. A lot of girls wouldn't really care. I know I didn't.

But I agree 100% with all of Andrew's suggestions.
Set your standards LOW. Fat chicks will go for it. Troll the bar around closing time, they always hang out to snach up the shitfaced guys anyways. You might want to be pretty shitty yourself though. Oh, and watch out for THE FRIEND. You know, the one that without fail vomits those words "we came here together, we're leaving together." She will ruin me.

Now go get 'em killer.
Way to go with the pragmatic advice there, brent ;)
Eh, I do what I can.
By all means, do not feel bad. First thing is to not give yourself a hard time. Its not a bad thing. The only girls what would have a problem with your situation are the type that you most likely do not want.

As far as a prostitute? That just sounds like an all around bad idea, and that is not something you want on your record. You will find someone one day that you want to be with forever, and you do not want bad history such as buying prostitutes. Buying prostitutes looks much worst than being a virgin, not that being a virgin is really a bad thing. Heck, most girls I know would rather have a virgin, its the fun of breaking them in.

I had my share of flings and messing around, but in the end, it means very little. Its fun at the time, but when its over, its over. And with all the dangers associated with sex, you need to be very careful where you stick it. Also, for memory sake, the first time is better when someone you know and respect.

As far as you neighborhood, I can see the issues. With no car, its hard to get around like mind folks. I never had that issue, so I am not sure what the best thing for you would be.

And when you do get sexual active, don't be shy to ask how and what they like, and how they like it, as people like different things and the event tends to turn out better when you are both open to what feels good to you.
If you're that desperate, it's easy to find "loose" women and "pay per use" gals. Frankly, you're better off doing that than going for a relationship. A "girlfriend" is just sex with strings and a wife is even worse.




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