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Permalink Reply by El Solo Lobo on April 24, 2011 at 9:54pm

There is much truth in the biblical admonishon to "be not unequally yoked" and that applies to friendship as well as marriage. It is quite sad when this happens. I have a friend who succumbed as well. He lives 5 miles from me in the same town. We talk a bit every few months...mostly because I simply keep quiet and listen if he gets on a religious roll. Having suffered the affliction of devout Christianity myself for 30+ years, I clearly regonize the insanity. It is a mental disorder.

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Permalink Reply by john wright on May 1, 2011 at 3:10am

quick story

I have tried many religions during my life (even satan when I was a dumb ass teen) The most sensible I found was Buddhism where you chant for the things you want (not hard to see what happens there--you stay positive and focused on your goals and magically they are realized hehe along with a bit of hard work too) Anyway-- the last foolishness I fell for was many years ago when I was totally lost and joined a non'denomonational church. I saw incredible and vivid visions and spent time on my back clutching my midsection trying to stop laughing. The last time, I thought to myself--- why am I here? I realized that I just needed something to believe in for a while because my life was out of control. Then I stood up and walked out for the last time. It was healing and probably saved me hundreds on therapy but I could see that 'it was what it was' and nothing unseen and magical about it at all. I just needed my mind to finish growing up so I could deal with what was in front of me. If it weren't for all the drugs and alchohol I'd consumed, I never would have fallen into that silly trap.

Since then, I have been one who believes that if one guy says 'you'll die if you eat this fruit' and another guy says 'you won't die if you eat that fruit' and I live after eating the fruit, I don't find any reason for naming the guy who told me the truth, 'The Deceiver'. I don't even understand the lessons anymore hehe

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Permalink Reply by john wright on May 1, 2011 at 2:55am

Ah, the grand story written so long ago...

He was born of the son god Ra and the virgin Isis who was aided by her husband Yuseph in bringing him up.

He traveled through the land with his twelve disciples healing the sick and feeding the multitudes through miracles and even brought a man named 'Al-Lazar-Us' back from the dead and then was crucified around the age of thirty. (Oh it gets very very similar in it's telling) Atleast his name rhymed,.. This was Horus who supposedly lived and died long before the 'Greatest story ever told' atleast twice.

And that--my friend... is what they are using to recruit these people.

How do you begin to fight against such lunacy?

Seems not worth the trouble, only to end up jumping around like daffy duck when it's over and still make no head way hahaha

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Permalink Reply by Starscream on May 1, 2011 at 2:07pm

Only a theory but many people never have strong convictions in the first place and are easily swayed; much of the time it's based more on the presentation than the message. When you were hanging out on a regular basis she may have been just regurgitating your thoughts and feeling back at you and must have had been swayed by your confidence in speech, but in your absence, she's latched onto another confident speaker.

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Permalink Reply by Phil on May 1, 2011 at 6:23pm

The same thing just happened to my wife. After a close relationship of 40+ years, personal problems seemed to have left her friend vulnerable, and now we've had to cut her loose. Once the mind shuts down it isn't easy to get it restarted. You're not alone. It's very much like suffering the death of a loved one.

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Permalink Reply by damian on May 4, 2011 at 5:21pm

I think every situation is unique, but if both of you aren't getting something positive out of it, it's going to be all downhill. If you want to debate her, go ahead. If you feel like it's not something you want to do, ask her if you can talk about something else. But, don't let her preach to you.

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Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on May 6, 2011 at 8:02am

After years of being agnostic, my sister returned to the dark side.  I thought she was a !itch before!  Now she's worse than  the wicked witch of the west and the east and all their minions put together.  Needless to say, I'm not missing anything by having nothing to do with her.  I did have a certain amount of anger over it though. 

 

I'm sorry your friend turned to the dark side.  That's got to be really hard for you.  Perhaps she is just trying to impress some guy and it will pass. 

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Permalink Reply by Phil on May 6, 2011 at 9:41am

That's often the case, romanticizing to the extent that you allow another person's world-view or agenda to sweep you away. Those damned hormones. Babies, churches, dropping out of school, the Scouts, voting Republican and all sorts of other evils can follow.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Kerkin on May 7, 2011 at 7:50am

I've had exactly the same experience years ago.

My friend was an atheist like me then made friends with some born agains. Suddenly she was looking things up in the Babble "just to check" some idea she'd got about some possible predictions. Then came a moment in a church where she fell to her knees crying etc. We argued, got nowhere. Then she said to me what I'd been thinking. "You feel bereaved don't you?" Yes!! That was exactly it. She tried to reassure me she was the same person, I could still swear in front of her, speak about anything, and so on. She said her new faith mattered to her for one thing mainly. It told her she could live forever. Quelle surprise. She pleaded with me to attend her baptism. I gave in and went and was pissed off she used things I'd said to her about what religion looked like to me to describe her 'journey'. I knew she was trying to inveigle me along the same route.

Anyway. The upshot. This was many years back. Her marriage to her atheist husband broke up and her daughter grew up to be a militant atheist teenager. She had a relationship with a choir singing fellow churchgoer who beat her up, as a good christian man would. And now she is with a new man. Also an atheist. Church doesn't get mentioned anymore. In the 'born again' couple who are still her friends, the husband has become an atheist. Because I don't want to be disappointed, I haven't asked. But I'm guessing...she's a little outnumbered and in the happiest relationship she's had...if her 'faith' is still there I reckon it's in the backroom of her brain in a box marked 'Throw out sometime'.

Bide your time with your friend. The tide of reason may slowly come back in to lap at her feet. But you may have to wait. Meanwhile, share with her your sense of bereavement. Your old friend is still in there somewhere. x

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Permalink Reply by Phil on May 7, 2011 at 9:10am

Keeping in touch, continuing to be there, with certain limits, is humane and constructive. Going over to the dark side can be temporary, and sometimes the catalyst of a friendly, reasonable and reliable voice being there can bring about the reactivation of shut-down portions of the brain. It's often easier to dump them entirely but total rejection usually isn't necessary.

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