NRA Calls for Ban on Schools | NewsThump (UK Satire Website)

After another tragic shooting at a US school, the National Rifle Association has insisted that the only way to prevent further tragedies of this nature is to ban schools.

The shooting at the Sandy Hook elementary school has left twenty children dead and forced the NRA to call for immediate changes to existing legislation.

NRA spokesperson Wayne Keene told reporters, “This is a terrible moment for the United States, and our hearts go out to all of those affected, but now is the time to acknowledge that this senseless act would never have happened if it wasn’t for this ‘school’.”

“People will say that the right to an education is an inalienable right and was core to the vision of this country’s forefathers, but we live in different times now, and clearly something needs to be done.”

“It won’t be popular, and people will obviously resist the change, but in order to protect this nation’s children it is now the time to ban schools.”

“Do you know how many school massacres there are in Chad? None. Do you know why? Because the don’t have an organised secondary school system.”

“The evidence is right there in front of us.”


Please consider reading and signing my atheists, agnostics, and nones acknowledgement petition on the White House petition Website. Even if you choose not to sign, please consider what it means when a sitting president's campaign adviser can blithely state that he does not view 1/5 of the American public as a constituency, what it means for our civil rights, and what it means to others who are religious that hear that. It is as egregious as Mitt Romney’s infamous 47% remark.


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Be nice if I could laugh at this.  Fact is, it ain't funny, certainly not while the NRA isn't interested in any kind of compromise regarding gun regulation.




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