What do guys look for in a girl? I mean, what do you notice first? And what ultimately makes you fall for that one girl??

I ask for two reasons: 1) I am just curious...and 2) I am 32, a hardcore atheist, a scifi geek, sardonic, sarcastic, I quote from Monty Python, Doctor Who, and Family Guy and a few more; also I'm not very girly for a girl, have no prospects and am single beyond belief!! :) I'm anxious to hear what freethinking guys like you like in a girl..besides the obvious...nontheism and freethought!! ;)

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Oddly enough I think it is all based on the what that person requires in a companion.

I appreciate someone who is intellectually stimulated, not so materialistic, funny, and genuinely kind. Frankly, I don't think I ask for too much. :) One of the most coveted characteristics that both sexes appear to respond to would have to be confidence. If you are sure of yourself, you can bet that others will notice and be drawn to that.
OK, I've been married for a very long time, but here is the way it worked for me:

The most important things for me as far as an initial impression were hair (?) and a smile. Every woman is more attractive when she's smiling.

Of course those things are only good for about one dinner. Then intelligence and a sense of humor kick in. I am married to a woman who is incredibly bright, has earned national recognition for being among the best in her profession, and yet who still laughs at my jokes and takes the time to ask me how my day was, even though I'm retired.

Oh...and we have become best friends. (That takes a while.)
Well, thank you guys....This is all very helpful. I've learned that I could smile more, I'm a tad shy..which leads me to the other thing I've learned: confidence. I'm a strong, intelligent woman, but lack confidence sometimes where men are concerned. I'm confident in my beliefs, or non-beliefs, and convictions; and am passionate about a lot of things. I just have yet to find one I can confidently share those with, and who will appreciate them. I agree, one must be confident in himself/herself for anyone to take him or her seriously. I have a lot of quirks I really could own up to, too!! :) Thanks again. I'm not trying to advertise myself...I just don't have a whole lot of atheist/agnostic guys around here to get advice from!! Looking forward to more great advice!!
(I'm a girl, so forgive me, but I'm also bi...)
Confidence is easy - just fake it. I know that sounds trite, but after a horrific marriage and pregnancy weight gain, I wasn't feeling too confident or sexy. So I started to walk with better posture, head high, and just pretend I felt confident. The physical stances sent signals to my brain that I was confident, and I started to feel more confident. Also, other people started treating me as confident, also making me feel more confident. "Fake it till you make it" applies here very well. Best wishes in your romantic endeavors.
Well thank you for your reply Angie!! I have had a romantic experience with a woman and quite liked it. I will definitely walk in a more confident manner...playing tricks on my brain!!
Who am I to give advice to someone so self aware?

Year of teaching karate and self defense tell me that the 'fake it till you make it' is more than an internal confidence boost. As Angie quite rightly puts it, people respond to the confidence, or lack thereof, you project. If people read uncertainty from your body language they will immediately assume that their will is more important than your's. One unconsciously responds and they unconsciously reciprocate. A loop is established.

Strutting simply breaks that loop. It helps to know what you're talking about too but no amount of knowledge will win this power struggle unless you can project your knowledge.

So, my advice, take up karate. Good for fitness, confidence and posture. When you have sparred with dozens of people and little bit of social horn locking will be a breeze.

So sez I, aaargh. :)
Haha..I can just see me know...karate chopping and what ever it is you do!! I actually have thought about it though...that or something similar. I need to work on balance, concentration, and learning to defend myself properly! Is 32 too old to start!!? The only thing is, I can't stand bare feet!! Not mine, or anyone's :p.
OOO NOOO, how are they supposed to rub your feet??
Hahahaha...Ewwwwww!!! Do you guys really like doing that!!! ;)
You have a couple kids right? Martial arts would be good for you and them. Find a place where you and the kids can be together. (Not necessarily at the same time, but at least back-to-back classes.)
Personally I would recommend Judo or JuJitsu. After that, Krav Maga. I don't anybody in your area, but if you decide to try something, I can look at their web site and see if it puts up red flags for me.
[FYI: 28 years as a martial artist. Main styles: TaeKwnonDo, Judo. Lots of other stuff mixed in but no rank in them. .... And don't waste your time with a TKD school.]
Sorry about the delay. Different styles have different clothing requirements. A lot of self defence classes expect you to turn up in gym clothing. I have only ever done traditional karate styles so bare feet was their thing. You've just gotta shop around.

32 is not too old to start. One karate-ka I admire the most started at 60. By 67 she held a full black belt and was instructing. It helped her to be strong and stable. Her focus and speed were impressive. I could probably knock her down if I could catch her but she could fight off the floor so I'd get a kick in the groin for my trouble.

It will probably be a little overwhelming at first but once you just have stick with it. After a while you'll be looking forward to the camaraderie of friendly violent fun.
Try sombo




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