What do guys look for in a girl? I mean, what do you notice first? And what ultimately makes you fall for that one girl??

I ask for two reasons: 1) I am just curious...and 2) I am 32, a hardcore atheist, a scifi geek, sardonic, sarcastic, I quote from Monty Python, Doctor Who, and Family Guy and a few more; also I'm not very girly for a girl, have no prospects and am single beyond belief!! :) I'm anxious to hear what freethinking guys like you like in a girl..besides the obvious...nontheism and freethought!! ;)

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Really a very interesting topic you got going here Leslee. Thanks.
Some thoughts I had on looking at some questions you posed.

So, most men do want a more passive woman? Do aggressive, highly intelligent women (which I'm not) intimidate men? Do most men like having a degree of authority over a woman?

I don't think there is a 'most men' here. I suspect that a majority want some passivity. Aggressiveness in a woman can work both ways. It's good to keep them from being dominated, but can net them a guy who is easily dominated. It can turn on the wrong kind of guy sometimes. I guess, like most things, a middle ground is what's best. The ability to be aggressive together with the ability to dial it down too.

! What are most men insecure about??? I'm really curious at this question.

[Their dick size. (Kidding.)] I think different guys can have every insecurity under the sun. WIsh I had a good formula for how to find and deal with them. Of course women can also have any insecurity.
I will say that most guys I've ever known *hate* rejection. I gather women don't like it either.

What are the biggest turn-offs for a woman to have??

in no particular order slovenliness, careless insensitivity, bad temper, codependent behavior, financial irresponsibility, stupidity, dishonesty. I'm sure most of those are turn offs in a guy too.
Hahah...brilliant! Old sweat pants and a dirty shirt!! I like that!! I do not like the watching the Cops thing though, but whatever makes you happy is important! I don't think anyone is really honest when it comes to paying taxes...and that's okay in my book!

I agree with most of your turn-offs, and yes, they go for men, too. I can't deal with insensitivity or bad tempers, and especially stupidity.
Well, I'm already quite attached, but if I was in the dating world again,

I typically looked for women who are humble. I could never stand women who had egos too large... I'm not sexist, I can't stand that in men either.
Inflated egos are an incredible turn off.
... then again, so are self defeatist attitudes.

Height doesn't play a factor.
Breast size doesn't really play much of a factor... but freakish sizes are too distracting to take seriously.
I like a good smile.
Physically, she had to be capable of running. Thick or thin didn't really matter to me within reason, but unhealthy is right out... that goes for both ends of the spectrum. If she's too fat to run, or too anorexic to fend off someone, I got repulsed.

And the one thing that kept me around with Julia (Ginger), is honesty... above anything, don't ever lie to me. That's a relationship and friendship killer right there.
Ah, honesty. I don't like being lied to either. I don't like big egos--major turn off. I'm not an athlete but I like a man who is energetic and full of life!!
Yes, let's explore that question!! What do you give in a relationship? Is it love, understanding, your humour, passion, compassion, honesty...I could go on, and as I type them they all seem so superficial. What am I forgetting? I want a man I can give myself to without losing myself. My love, my understanding and compassion, my awesome ability to prepare kickass meals!! It seems I am missing something dire...something essential..I can't put my mind on it. Maybe this is why I am still single. When I have been in relationships, I always gave love, passion, compassion, humour, new ideas, exciting adventures, an open-mind, and understanding...and I would give them all again. But there must be something I'm lacking...maybe I'll find it.
Yes, let's explore that question!! What do you give in a relationship? Is it love, understanding, your humour, passion, compassion, honesty

Oh good! While the things you mention are good, the BIGGEST by far in my experience (including looking at marriages of friends that have worked or failed) is COMPROMISE. By that I mean being willing to put up with the other person's SHIT.

Everyone drags stuff into a relationship that the other person can't stand. I can give just a few examples from my own marriage.
-My wife is far too much of a musical snob.
-For her to admit she is wrong is tantamount to pulling teeth (through the nose)
-She would say I'm too laid back and not ambitious enough (and I'll grant there may be merit to that).

Anyway I put up with her crap and she puts up with mine. Sometime things blow up into ugly arguments, but the decision we've both made to tough it out, allows us to back off and to 'live and let live'.
I was going to put that!! That is very important. I have many quirks and "shit" that one might not like or understand. As for music--I am a huge music snob, too. My mother could not compromise, and her marriage with my dad failed. I do NOT want to be like her. In fact, all my siblings save one have had failed marriages. I don't want that to be me. So compromise and understanding are big for me. I'm glad you all are having fun with this!!
I don't think most men really care about breast size, do they?
If I don't, does it mean you don't?

Too true to be really funny.

A riddle:

Q: why do so many men name their penis?

A: Because they don't want their decisions made by a stranger.

Two of the worst things society can do is to put penis in charge of a firearm or motor vehicle.

Today's question; Is political correctness merely vested interest posing as moral principle?
I can appreciate that!



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