Personally, I always liked the prayer from that great philosopher and Firefly-class transport captain, Captain Malcolm Reynolds:
Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket...
I'm partial to Janis Joplin's song "Mercedes Benz". Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, my friends all drive porsches, I must make amends......Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV. Dialing for dollars is trying to find me. I wait for delivery each day until 3....
How about a good christian prayer: O god, please do exactly what you were going to do anyway, since that's exactly what you always do anyway! Amen
Nice one. Post it to the site! :)
Variations on: "Since when do you listen to me anyway?"
Sentient, but not omnipresent. Sometimes barely present. But like the tortoise, eventually I find my way. Thanks!
Dear God, if it be thy will please let me comment on this, but don't let me comment if it is not thy will. Oh, the wonderful power of prayer!
Supplicant: "Dear God. I want to live to be 110 years old."
God: "My son, a million years to you is like a minute to me."
Supplicant: "Well, can you at least give me a billion dollars."
God: "Yeah. In a minute."
Just another fancy way of saying, fuck you, sucker!
This cracked me up.
I loved the first response I saw:
"I tracked down the person who hit your car and caused their kidneys to fail. If you want to sell them one of yours you can make a little new car money."
Also on hell,
"I will tell you it’s not temporary in most cases, but occasionally I’ll pardon someone. Satan says it sweetens the despair when everyone knows there’s some tiny shred of the hope of relief from the suffering. We’ve had some spirited debates on that subject, but I defer to his expertise" God is such a joyful sadist!
Thanks for posting this! It's a lot of fun!
P.S. I thought god was "The Editor". Are there two?