People Cling to Religion So They Can Use Guilt and/or Shame to Get What They Need/Want

Despite xianity’s hostility to women, many American women remain xians. I have asked many women why this is so but it seems none know, or maybe just won’t tell.

Several months ago a woman who was formerly very religious (a JW), and who is also a club’s officer, told me all the nearby clubs have checking accounts so our club should have one. I told her local banks charge too much and then asked her to tell us the advantage(s) of having a checking account and to not shame us into having one. She has not mentioned it again.

Last week while browsing a Kindle sample of Alfred Kinsey’s 1953 book on female sexuality (I’m slow.), I saw in adjacent paragraphs remarks that let me conclude that many women remain religious so they can use guilt and/or shame.

It seems passive aggressive rather than assertive, but when I was a kid I learned to use aggression to get what I wanted: talking louder, interrupting. etc. When I became a political activist I met men who aggressed more than I did, so I took an assertiveness course and learned to ask for what I wanted/needed.

In case the above prose disguised my purpose with this discussion, do you think religion encourages the use of guilt and/or shame, and that may be why more women than men remain religious?

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That may well be, Tom. You were taught to use agression when you were young - I was taught to be passive and obedient. I understood that what they taught me was a way of life, but not a happy one and I would never be free to make my own mistakes. I've met lots of women who were content with such a life, blaming their husbands if anything went wrong.

I doubt women cling to religion for this motive, Tom. Women tend to be socialized to submit to male authority figures. It's a steeper slope for us to emotionally challenge religious indoctrination. Women find the social connections supportive, I think.

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