A long time ago, I got fed up with the Jehovah's Witnesses and other theists who insist on bothering me at home. I have health problems, including sleep disorders. If my sleep cycle is interrupted, it can take me days to get back to a more or less regular schedule. I need absolute quiet to sleep, especially when I have to take an afternoon nap.

So, I've stuck various iterations of this sign on my door:

It seems pretty straight-forward, no? Once I had a guy hand me a dollar bill before he started his Jesus spiel. It was creative, so I laughed, gave him his money back and told him never to bother me again.

Last night a man and a woman knocked on my door. I was a bit spaced out due to painkillers, so I wasn't sure what was happening. I figured those seeking to proselytize would see my notice and leave me alone. Somehow it entered my mind that the two people at my door might have something to do with the new manager, so I let them yammer on for awhile.

I was confused when they handed me a cookbook. When I told them I didn't do much cooking, they handed me another book. I thumbed through it and saw that the word "God" was written multiple times on every page. It was lucky for them that I was mellowly strung out on painkillers. 

"Oh, this is religious," I remarked, handing it back to them. "I'm an atheist. I went to Christian schools from second grade through college. I doubt there's anything new you could tell me."

The lady tried to ask why I was an atheist, but the man--who actually seemed contrite--cut her off.

I pointed at the graphic on my sign that means "no bible thumpers" and very calmly said, "In the future, please follow these rules of engagement. It was very rude of you to ignore my sign. You ought to know better than that."

I think the man might actually be ashamed of himself. The woman? Not so much. Sometimes the brain malfunction that causes people to be rude prevents them from realizing they are, in fact, rude. 

I calmly shut the door. If they come back, I'll ask what church they're from. I strongly suspect they are from the nearby JW Kingdom Hall. I've already spoken to a lady I assumed was the new manager and she said if they show up again, she'll make sure they aren't welcome in the complex. 

Awesome. :)

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Why not sue the religious organisation which is harassing you and trespassing on your property ?

Have you tried a sign in Latin?


Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult

I would be sorely tempted to install a camera with horn speaker over the front door.  If an identifiable JW party arrived there, read your notice and knocked anyway, you could trigger a prerecorded message to be blared at their sorry faces at around 110 dB, say something to the effect of:

CAN'T YOU READ???

Or something in effect of Miranda Warning:

  • You have the right to remain silent when questioned.
  • Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law.
  • You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.
  • If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish.
  • If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney.
  • Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?

Then proceed to kick their asses.

Hunter S. Thompson once posted a sign that read, "I shot myself in the nuts and can't come to the door right now."  I don't like when evangelists come to my place, but I'll talk honestly with them and even read their pamphlets.  They usually give up after a few tries.  Moreover, I'd rather see a Mormon in the driveway than a cop.

}}}}

Here's the dopey woman part:

"Oh, you're an atheist. Well, something must have happened."

In my case it did. Jesus failed to bring me a pony. Oh, wait. That was Santa Claus.

I got that question the first time a quartet of JWs showed up at my door, though it was more like:

She: Have you always been an atheist, or did something happen to you to make you an atheist?
Me: Yeah ... common sense!

I feel vey strongly against religious door knockers, too. Arrogance, rudeness, aggressiveness all seem to me to be appropriate words for such intruders. Thankfully, your new manager will support you. 

Keep in mind that religious door knockers do not have to be JW's. In my area they can be Baptist, Pentecostal, etc. or any new church. Sometimes they are Mormons too. New churches send people out and if they get a new pastor they often send people out. I suppose the idea is to let you know that old pastor is gone now just in case you were angry with him.   :)

Yes, it looks that way, which is a good thing. :)

Our last manager was the worst manager I've ever had. She broke the law by raising the rent without a thirty day notice and by threatening to evict tenants who, because of her mistakes, had a balance as little as $3 on their tab. She did this to me once and would not accept cash or a check. She insisted on a money order or cashier's check and said she would start eviction proceedings against me in three days if I didn't get it to her. Over $3. When clerical errors like this happened before, past managers would just tell me to add it to the next month's rent. No big.

One of the ladies living downstairs had a similar experience and literally threw the money order in the manager's face. Someone else slashed the groundskeeper's tires. It wasn't his fault. :(

In the meantime, I decided to pick my battles because I didn't know how long the manager would be here. I hung onto every paper she put on my door and kept track of the things she did. I halfway suspected she wouldn't be around long, so good news! I can throw that shit away now...if I ever figure out where I put it. XD

So, a new manager it is! And this one is looking better than the last one. I'm hoping the lady sitting in the office wasn't a temp, because I really liked her "get behind the tenants" attitude. :)

oh how rude of those people  - those type people are everywhere. I hope they do not come back.

I hope the new manager takes care of them.

Mocking and laughing at those religionists is the best way to get rid of them. They'll start to get uncomfortable because they want you to send you to hell and still they try not to mention hell. So, they better get the hell outta here.

Sometime, when I come home I see some religious pamphlets under my doormat. I know they are religious because I see a big  "t" on them, so they are from a nearby building with a "t" on top of it. The guys in this building are self calling "Christians" because of this big "t" on their building.

I don't think those "Christians" want to see pamphlets with a crescent moon and a star, under their doormats.

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