Ruth, Nobody's journey to freedom will differ from mine.
The Catholicism I knew taught helplessness and from 1957 I still remember how relieved I was to learn that all of the major religions have a golden rule. My fear went away and I felt safer leaving the "box" I had grown up in.
Grabbing life required energy and for a while the only future I saw was too much like the past I knew. I didn't want anything from that past. I had the money I would need to continue college but I needed a different future.
Nobody's journey to freedom will be unique to him. Anger can supply the energy he will need. Seeing a freedom he wants can also supply that energy.
Tom, I agree, anger is a friend that provides the energy one needs to break from the family and create a life of one's own. The interesting thing is, we often come back to the family after we have successfully made the transition from dependent to self-sufficient. We find we want and need the connection to family, but on one's terms.
Joan, I have a problem the anger as a friend metaphor. I can part with friends; I won't part with my capacity to anger; I might someday need the energy it supplies.
Did you come/go back to the family, or did you let the family back into your life?
I let my parents back into my life, and as you say I did it on my terms. The transition was so large that I saw one of my terms only when they died; I felt almost nothing.
Decades after they died I learned why the transition had been so large. It's too long a story to tell here; I can summarize it with Their lives were tragedy.
My goodness, why do you have a problem with anger being a friend? So many events in life require anger in order to break free or make necessary changes. Feelings become enemies if they take over one's life. Like happiness, sadness, and fear, they each have their place in a healthy life. To deny any one puts a limit on a person that acts like a flat tire that goes flat in sections. Imagine the wheel with different emotions occupying different segments. If one aspect is flat, the wheel stops acting like a round wheel.
Joan, read my first paragraph again.
In short, no friend is a part of me. My capacity to anger is a part of me.
It's a guy thing.
It's girls who are taught to hide anger, though less now than formerly.
Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, anger was whipped out of the girls of my generation. For my girl cousins and me, a birch switch was the instrument of torture. Many of us now are female curmudgeons, opinionated, strong-willed, outspoken, pompous, arrogant and other such lovely attributes.
"a birch rod must be ‘green,’ that is freshly cut before being put to use."
~ The birch and its domestic use
Right on, Ruth, get on a bus, train or plane and create your reality!
So many of my cousins and I divorced our family before we were able to find ourselves. I think this is simply an adjustment from old patriarchal hierarchy to an age of self-determination.
My 1st cousins had a reunion last Friday. I am the oldest of the female cousins, and as I look at my younger cousins, I see these elderly individuals as very much the same as when we were children. I am 80 and I have many of the characteristics that I had as a child. My timid cousin is still timid, the annoying one is still as he was as a kid, the rational one still looks after all of us, the funny one kept us in laughter. Of course, there have been changes over time, place and experience, but we come into the world with a nature and it seems to stay.
So, as soon as you are able, take the hero's journey to find yourself. That is called growing up.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
As to the Bible giving you nightmares. It's not the Bible. The Bible is a book of horrible fairytales. It is the spiritual abuse you suffered from living around all those scumbag hypocritical Bible bangers. Google Cult of Dusty. Dusty Smith is a recovering Christian. Rejecting Christianity saved his life.
I would suggest that you find a Bible, chop it up and shit and piss all over it. When you get over your initial fear. Learn the Bible so that you can expose what a vile and filthy thing it is. Then do the same thing with the Koran. In the meantime, give God a fuck you.
I enjoyed your post, Chuck.
As to suicide, when the temporary problem is a lifetime of pain, a permanent solution has much appeal.
I can see suicide for people in chronic physical pain.
Chuck, can you see (permit?) suicide for people in chronic mental pain?
Or for any reason they choose?