What's holding us back in Atheism 1.0? Could it be that we're too busy indulging in mind games? It's an issue of authenticity.


Self worth is best achieved by giving ourselves credit for our strengths and admirable traits. However, if something too painful occurs that we can't face, an attack by an authority figure when we're young or a rejection when we're at our most vulnerable, we can settle for provisional self-esteem based on invidious comparison. We soothe our wounds with "I'm better than somebody else." This easy fix is widely encouraged in the culture, socially acceptable.


In 1964 Eric Berne's Games People Play described the mind games of this "I'm OK, You're not OK" position. Instead of living in the full threatening chaotic experience of reality, players buy into a limited version in which it's easier for them to cope. Their reality is narrowed down so that every action is one of a victim, a rescuer , or a persecutor. They're not aware that they edit reality to fit their preferred game. It's just reality as they know it.


Many religious memeplexes include a version of VRP reality. The chosen people are victimized by a cruel, malevolent outside world, but they'll soon be rescued by a god and then it will be the turn of those awful persecutors to be victims in the end time.


If you identify as a Victim, you're morally superior to your persecutor.

If you're rescuing victims, you're morally superior to victims and persecutors.

But here's the kicker that Eric Berne identified. You can start out as a Victim and collect, as he put it, trading stamps. You can collect self-pity stamps, or you can collect anger stamps. When you have collected enough, you get to trade them in as justified persecution of your former Persecutors. You get to be mean without guilt, because "they deserved it", and you are morally superior. Players of VRP games always end up taking every role at some point.


So poor persecuted Christians can attack someone they deem undesirable or a threat, and still feel virtuous. Group bonding offers many opportunities to put your group members up, put everyone else down, and shore up fragile egos.


As I see it, it's no accident that Atheists are stuck in religion bashing and can't move on to construct an authentic vibrant secular community to compete with the religious communities. Part of our problem is that, for too many of our members, giving up theism was easy, giving up VRP too hard. These members can't help but steer our conversations back to the faults of religion.

Views: 576

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

If we can't, as a culture, get past reducing the world and ourselves to the simplistic and dysfunctional roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer, Matthew, I can't imagine us surviving as a species. The problems of creating a sustainable culture, so future generations can survive, are too complex. Yes, it's very hard to get past entrapment in such a mind game, but it is possible. The first step is knowledge, so self-reflection can occur. People trapped in VPR suffer a lot, and learning that they are inadvertently causing much of their pain is a first step. Finding the sources of strength for authentic self worth can be learned. One might even begin with a movie or TV series in which the main character frees him or her self, with the help of a friend.

A person who manages to escape this mind game will have an immediate tangible improvement in self-actualization and life quality, similar to deconversion. So yes, that's some form of progress. It's something worth celebrating.

Matthew, I'd like to address two of your points.

1."In fact we all live in a simplified world in any case,..." It's true that everyone participates in a process of selecting some of the infinite sensory data flooding in to pay attention to and ignores the rest. This process also involves interpretation, habits of focusing the gaze, habits of speech, etc. Kari Marie Norgaard, in Living in Denial: Climate Change, Emotions and Everyday Life describes how we come to participate in a shared reality, and she focuses on the way it enables denial of Climate Change. But her point is well taken. There is a difference between an emotionally healthy person in a culture, narrowing their attention and interpreting reality according to regional customs, and someone caught in VPR. Yes, some cultures are solidly locked into VPR in relation to war, conflict with other nations, some subcultures are locked in with respect to other subcultures (like the Tea Party with respect to US illegal immigrants). nevertheless, people in these VPR cultures can still avoid VPR in their personal relationships, with family and friends. They can compartmentalize. When an individual is caught in VPR, he or she applies it to their entire reality, most especially with every other human being with whom they interact, even casually, as well as to large issues such as war.

2. "Ironically while arguing against a simplistic world view VRP asserts only 3 simple categories." This misrepresents VPR as a logical argument, while it operates at a different level. VPR doesn't "argue" per se, as a political manifesto might. It doesn't "assert". Such mind games distort perception and thinking at a deeper level than conscious verbal discourse. While some VPR players might be articulate enough to defend their positions by making such arguments and assertions, that isn't part of the mind game. Most victims are consciously unaware of playing a mind game at all, and would deny such intent. It's just a pattern we observe in how they see reality, how they react, how they feel.

I would have to agree Ruth. I would enjoy learning more about mind games. I'm going to add that book to my Amazon list.


© 2019   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: The Nexus Group.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service