When me and my husband were married 12 years ago we had an understanding as far as how we'd raise our children in regards to religion. At the time I was a non-practicing jew and he was a practicing xtian. Since religion was insignificant to me I agreed to let him raise our kids xtian. In 2007 we welcomed our daughter to the world. He is still the same but in the past year I have been awakened to the fact that I have never believed in god. Now,I am extremely squeamish of the thought of her being raised xtian. I am concerned about the kind of woman she will grow up to be if she believes in that garbage. I know just because she goes to church as a child it doesn't mean she will believe as an adult;however,she will be surrounded by bad influences that will attempt to brain wash her. I am at a loss of what to do. Me and my husband had an agreement and I don't want to go back on that. We are both her parents and my husband has a right to expose her to his beliefs. I know I will definitely tell her about mine! So...what should I do? Let her go but educate her about my non-beliefs too,and hope she doesn't go to the darkside? Put a stop to her going so I could save her soul? In the end,I know it is HER choice. 

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Thank you for the wonderful answer. I think you and your fiance are exceptionally good parents.
Now - don't count my chickens before they hatch. Our second is on it's way, so this is a two-fer roll of the dice. We're hoping we've loaded them, but still, we won't know how it works out until they're 16-18...possibly older.

No parent knows what they're doing (My parents get offended by this statement, but they don't realize...or pay attention to....it's scope). We're all stumbling blind. I still haven't made up my mind how I would feel if my children indoctrinate themselves. I have a lot of hopes and dreams and concerns - all parents do. I also have a multitude of fears - all parents do.

I wind up having to take the same approach I do to religious who fret about drugs being present and the giving out of condoms: "If you're 'so right', then what are you worried about?"

To close, I wouldn't dare tell you what to do. And I'm not about to let someone tell me what to do. But I can share my intentions and let you weigh on your own. I would offer that if you and your husband discussed much of this so much in advance, you're likely a good parent to. It doesn't sound like your husband wants to indoctrinate your child, so I wouldn't worry too much.

But thank you for the words of encouragement. Best of fortunes to you in your struggles.
You are absolutely right. No matter how much we mentor our offspring they are their own people. Regardless how your kids grow up as far as religion,I think you and your fiance have the right attitude. You hit the nail on the head about parents not knowing what they are doing. Fact is,it is unpredictable with each one. I think having fears is a sign of a good parent. My husband is very good at not indoctrinating her like you said. He is basically introducing her to his faith but knows she won't automatically become christian. He also knows you can't make anyone be one. He is been extraordinarily accepting of my atheism. He has never tried to change me nor I him.

Best to you also and thanks for the wise words.
There are some great conversations on this in the Parenting Little Heathens group (I didn't see it suggested yet, hope I didn't miss it) Here is on of them.
My idea is to teach critical thinking and expose them to all the different religions and thoughts on the subject.
thank you...I am checking out that link now.
I have heard of that book and plan on reading it. I also am interested in the companion book. I believe it is called Raising Freethinkers.




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