What are the qualities you require a person to have before considering a relationship with them?  (employment, education, a pulse, etc.)


What qualities will you NOT accept?  (unemployment, illiteracy, room temperature liver, etc.)


(Both questions should be related to what you consider 'show stoppers'.)

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Oh, and forgot to mention:



LOL well I'm out, I live with my parents purely to save money and energy. Well maybe not energy, because my 'family' is a major stressor and drain on my non-existent energy reserves. I have applied to social housing though... but without any assistance so my application is probably going to rejected or lost in the mail.
You're under 21, man.  It's not pathetic for a few more years.

yeah, and if you're 29 and still living with Mom and Dad, then you need to worry.

Of course, my parents are reluctant to have me fully move out, as I'm the only useful child that they had--I actually cook, clean, know how to grocery shop without spending $70 on new makeup and hair products. My sister not only can't do any of these things, but she has several of the most annoying/vile habits ever.

You know how those cheap crappy banquet microwave meals have a box and then the plastic on top of the food, that's it? Some more expensive microwave meals have little strainers and whatever, but she usually gets super-cheap stuff--Well, my sister not only prefers to live off of those, rather than cooking, but whenever she makes one, she just leaves the box, then the plastic on top of it, right next to the stove(we have a microwave over the oven), and it'll stay there for days if I or my mom doesn't pick it up and throw it in the trash.

She also does similar things for when she cooks food--one time she made "bbq chicken wings", which were not only extremely dry but spiced badly, but one night she "made" them for her boyfriend and her, and then he decided he didn't want them, so she just left them on top of the stove. Just left 'em. They sat there a full day before I had to clean them up. She currently wants her own apartment but can't stop buying useless crap and when I went home for spring break my 'job' was to clean up and organize her closet area for her, which probably lasted less than a week.

And this kid has had, we're talking, 40+ odd boyfriends, 5-7 of which have proposed to her.

I gotta know: What am I doing wrong?

Ugh.  Yeah, if you're going to eat frozen dinners, it has to be the good stuff.  Stouffer's or something of similar quality.  I can't stand someone who doesn't clean up after herself, either.  I mean okay, if you're letting something soak in the sink overnight, because something got hideously burned-on or stuck-on, and you'll get it in the morning, then fine.  If it's just something that needs to be thrown in the garbage can or the recycle bin, there's no excuse.


As for her long dating history and many proposals ... she's cute, isn't she?  Most guys are really freaking shallow.  We've been over this.  :-D

Hmm, I've had sex with my girlfriend while we were visiting her parents in Atlanta.  You date a bunch of prudes.  :-P

-Basic intelligence and interest in learning

 -is in a similar place in their life right now(either same age, or a few years younger/older, may or may not have a car, apartment, etc---I say these things not because I want them, but because they automatically make him more likely to say yes to a date--I could probably get a date with a 45 year old who lives with friends still, but not one with his own house, car, lots of money, etc--I am attempting to choose people who will not want drastically different things from the relationship than I do--I want companionship, they should want it to, not a trophy, a wife, a fuckbuddy, a 5th for the orgy they want to have, etc.)

-Interests in nerdy things, honestly, if he at least plays some video games and watches some anime or is mildly otaku, then I'm good--the rest can either be worked into him or traded with him. As long as he doesn't turn down every tv show I suggest, we can start building a shared base of things to quote from.

- Food: He better like it, and he better enjoy eating, cause I like to cook--I've honestly met guys who don't care what they eat and can live off of doritos and vault. I -will- be offended if I cook food for him all the time and he never ever eats it.

-General Hygiene and cleanliness(this is a given, normally, but it also extends to the beard area--if he's trying to grow a scraggly beard, I will deal with it, but I'm also going to speak my mind on it. I don't mind facial/body hair in general, though, some people just have it.)

-Ummmmm not much else, as long as he's fairly responsible with money(isn't consistently broke and/or spends all his money on things like anime figurines...), I'm cool.

-Artistry of some type(drawing, musician, writer), would be nice, but it's not -necessary- or required in any way.

-Regular Book reading would be awesome but again, not required.


I think that's...about it. Most of these, even if not perfect, can be worked on, except for the first and second one, really, and I -like- to think that I'm pretty darn lenient and lax in my requirements--and I will say, I'm allowed to be picky, but I'm not picky--Tim Minchin has a song about "If I didn't have you, someone else would do."---that's honestly how I think, it's a numbers game, you go through people you meet on a daily basis to try to find the ones that are most compatible, there are no soul mates, and there is no 'great special one' out there for anyone--there is only you, and trying to find someone who's decent enough to spend one's days with.

"there are no soul mates, and there is no 'great special one' out there for anyone"


I really like that.  I think as I peeled away the layers of my puritanical past, I realized that was true.  I find meeting and flirting with people much easier now that I don't have so much expectation.

This whole "soul mates" claptrap is an extension of "gawds chosen mate" nonsense.  We get damned lucky from time to time and find someone we can truely relate to... other times we just pass the time with someone we can tolerate

Exactly, it's also why a lot of cults choose grooms for the young girls, because they know otherwise, nothing would ever happen. There is no divine intervention for our mating, it just happens.

I suppose it helps that most romances a steeped in this same bullfarts that church wants to feed to us --"Save it for someone special", "someday, someone you meet will be perfect.", no, no one is ever perfect, and you'll be lucky if you find someone properly compatible. Women are often disappointed when their real lives turn out to be dull compared to things like Twilight and The Time Traveler's Wife.

I refer to books like Twilight as porn for women: Unrealistic fantasies about idealized interactions which titillate the senses and leave one feeling somewhat dissatisfied with the conventions of normative relationships.
I don't even know about that part, for the Twilight series.  I think the part about the werewolves grooming their 'soul-mates' from something like the age of 1 would creep women the fuck out, if they paid attention to it.


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