I enjoy reading your posts, they are always very insightful and well written
Generally I've had no problem finding anyone on A/N to interact with. People comment on my stuff, and I just assumed that's how it is by default. I suspect it is that way by default.
Based on some of the comments left in other threads by other people I wonder if you're feeling like people aren't engaging you as much as you would like because some part of how you communicate and interact with people alienates you from them. I've never felt isolated here on A/N, the worst I've come across are a few people that make me feel like i'm pounding my head on a brick wall, but for the most part conversations I have in the forums, in messages, on my blog and various other places here, have been incredibly rewarding. There's so many people here I admire and respect. They love to talk, and communicate a lot. So if you feel that people aren't quick to approach you, perhaps it's time to spend a bit of time in introspection on why you might be alienating yourself from some of them. Look I'm leaving my personal views out of this, I'm basing this response on what I've seen in other people's response to you along with statements you've made in this thread. I give a shit about everyone here, and if your goal is to become more bonded and active in the community and you want to grow and improve yourself and hold values like integrity and intellectual honesty, well I support that and I support you pursuing that.
I wouldn't freak out if you don't get replies within 20 hours. Sometimes you'll get replies within seconds, sometimes it might take days or not at all. It's just not something worth worrying about. Post things, if people respond great, if not ask yourself why (if they respond with criticism I highly recommend you should ask yourself why too), but comments like "No one responded in 20 hours" come across to people as a bit desperate for attention, and kinda needy. Like no worries man, just be chill and everything will turn out allright k?
This is simply general advice that I think is good advice. I'm trying not to drag anything into it and remain as objective about it as I can. If you want help I'll help you to the best of my abilities anytime, just like anyone else here. I don't hold grudges so no matter how critical I may be of anyone, if they treat me well, and are honest and open, they'll get a pretty positive response every time.
BenGee, there are times I get behind in my responding to people and I know they understand, and I enjoy when others respond as they have time or energy.
The "Old Timers" know we have lives outside of A/N and we have commitments.
For example, I had a bout with heart trouble, then cancer, then being with my son as he died of cancer. I could whine about my distractions, but I want you to see the challenges we face; just the usual and normal stuff of living.
This is also true, my basic point was not to stress though, ya know :)
Right! Manage the stress!
I agree, Joan.
People who stress when they see a post can turn a cheek.
Until they've exhausted their supply of cheeks, of course.
It's kinda one of those things, it serves no purpose to worry about if/when people will respond to you. I feel bad for people who have to ask for attention, hence my advice.
It's reasonably sound advice I think.
Ben Gee, Tom is a very warm and caring person and has walked with me through some difficult challenges. His style can be rough at times and he is tired of people who whine and do nothing to change what is happening to them. I think of him when I see a cartoon about someone putting their hands together and kneeling on your knees in prayer, begging for help, while another person gets up off the ground, breaths deeply, thinks critically, and puts their mind and body to work.
Thank you for your assessment. The only side he's chosen to show me and other's here thus far are digs and insults. I have made a number of attempts to reach out to him, I've said multiple time's I do not hold grudges, to be honest I don't stress even when it seems I'm mad at him, he's just a guy on the internet.
I simply can't lay down and allow bullies and trolls to have their way, so when I see someone act like a bully or a troll my natural instinct is to stand up to them. Sometimes this causes me to be targeted by the community that likes said bully, so often my first response rather than confront them (or shortly after my first confrontation) is to leave.
However I chose to stay here, I like this place, my relationship with Tom is entirely dependent on him. which could be said for pretty much anyone. I'm reactive by nature, I am not the type to make the first move. I'll take your words into account, however ultimately its up to him to earn respect or earn a reputation as a bully. I'm quick to spot dishonesty and manipulative tactics, unfortunately that can give power to the manipulator as they can do things like delete their posts to hide the things they say that start an altercation. I'm aware of this too.
So now you know where I stand. I like everyone, and am nice to everyone, I only expect that they also extend general politeness and decency and approach me with intellectual honesty and objectivity in return. I remember an old 80's movie quote, though I don't remember the name of the movie "Be nice, until its time to not be nice." I will be nice, but I will also stand my ground when needed.
I can't think of a more fair way to deal with people.