As freethinkers, we should be aware that just because a woman can beat you in softball, doesn't make her any less "feminine".


I came across a thread this morning on the topic, and the things the men listed irked me to no end. Examples: tattoos, cursing, smoking, being able to be her own auto mechanic, short hair, being drunk, etc etc etc. Now, I don't know about the other ladies of the A|N, but I personally love having tattos, cursing (within "reason"), and being drunk (though I rarely drink).


But what is femininity?


Men and women, I want your thoughts!

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I usually shave at the point that I either start itching or the hair starts catching on my clothes and hurting me. >.> For my legs, that's about every 1.5 weeks, whereas elsewhere is about a month. My underarms are usually every two-three days as I do wear a lot of tanks.
Thus helping to ensure women have the insecurity to continue shaving.

Yeah. I don't shave, and haven't since my late teens, but people should feel free to shave or not shave as they see fit.

Once upon a time, I took an aqua-aerobics class at the local Y. The instructor made a very Dramatic Point about discussing a new shaving contraption when I was within hearing distance, and pointedly looking in my direction. I just smiled and kept right on raising and lowering my arms in unison to the music.
Personally, I really prefer the feel of being hairless compared to hairy. Plus, let's just say that there are a couple problems that males can have with hair...

I'd personally prefer to be hairless, but since there are apparently so many women that want body hair, I've been holding out until I found out what that special someone thinks.
The instructor made a very Dramatic Point about discussing a new shaving contraption when I was within hearing distance, and pointedly looking in my direction. I just smiled and kept right on raising and lowering my arms in unison to the music.


Many years ago I was swimming at a lake with a number of friends and relatives. One friend of mine was getting teased by some strangers over her unshaven armpits. My teenage nephew, VERY conformist, VERY keep-your-head-down-and-don't-confront, VERY white-suburban-mainstream, was the first to run to her defense.

*Tear* Made his auntie proud!
I stopped shaving around age 17. The only person who really found this to be a dealbreaker was a girl I was dating once. I can't believe I actually shaved my legs for her. I should have instead told her about her own flaws which I otherwise would have overlooked.
I think that femininity is subjective. But nothing makes me exude femininity more than after I have just shaved my legs and smothered lovely smelling lotion on them. At that point I am unstoppable and in that 'take me now' mindset. Shaving just brings this heightened sensitivity and softness that I love. It makes me feel ultra fem. Mind you I'm single and have no one to do this for, I do it for myself. Always. The hair, the makeup, the lingerie, the shaving, the fashion. It's all for me.
...and dance backward.

An old friend used to do a wonderful stage show in high heels to a Yoko Ono song. I never measured his heels, but the dancing backward bit was breathtaking.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh my! Kinda kinky there aren't ya Amanda ;)

I say just don't worry about it and be yourself. 

I wear skirts all the time and absolutely love pearls. My apron collection would be envied by Martha, I'm sure. I also spent my college years wearing dresses...with combat boots and shooting nudes of my girlfriends wearing them for photo101. Didn't shave my legs for a few years. Read lots of femenist/humanist publications and theory here and abroad.

It's a journey. 

It's a journey. No woman I know well has avoided growing and changing her own gender identity and role over the years on some ways, great and small. We all end up in different places and it works.

Never wanted to procreate until recently and certainly would never in a million years have believed that men and women are really fundamentally different...until my friends started having babies and we all noticed at impossibly young ages that they just act, react and behave differently based at least somewhat upon sex. Evolutionarily, it makes sense and I'm sure I learned that in a behavioural science class way back when, but it sticks when you observe it first hand (and get over being disturbed by it). 

That said, gender is a spectrum and you just have to settle in and be comfortable with your spot on the slide...says the woman who learned to drive a stick in the mountains of New Zealand...with her left hand on the wrong side of the road...while wearing hiking boots and a pink polkadotted skirt.

There probably are gender differences like you say. If they come natural to someone, that's OK. There will always be some who act or want to act outside the gender roles and it's important that even if there are certain biological differences, people can act in a way that they are comfortable with.
I find it particularly unattractive for women to do things that a guy does purely to be accepted by guys. It just seems desperate to me...example...I was at a farm supply store picking up dog food and the girl ringing me up felt it necessary to drone on about how manly she was because she hunted hogs with pit bulls. that supposed to make her hot to me? How the hell did that come up anyway? My wife has been in a lifelong pursuit to try and be a guys girl immediately trying to bug in on any hobby I get to the point that I have to drop it and find something else to do. It's not that I don't want to spend time with's just that I work hard to be successful in whatever I do and do not want to have to slow down to help her catch up to me. Example: Golf. She wanted to get clubs and golf with me...I have been golfing for over 20 years and have spend endless hours developing a fundamental understanding of the game and the rules (written and unwritten) and for her to up and want to start playing with little interest in learning just seems desperate and someone who is just trying to blab to her friends that she plays golf and not really someone who is interested in the game itself. That bugs me and if it happened would have ended my lifelong enjoyment of a hobby (BTW, I only golf about once a month if that now). I ride bikes...normally once or twice a week...and I like to ride 25+ miles any time I jump on. Now she wants to make that her hobby. I am encouraging her to find her own way...develop a hobby that she wants and not tagging on to mine. We will find time to be together but anyone honing in on someone elses good time purely for the purpose of fitting in is terribly desperate for attention and this applies to women who get tattoos (wife has one because I was thinking about getting one, but didn't), cursing (it's just rude anyway), smoking, auto mechanics (friend from high-school brags about working on cars all the time...she is single, still), ect, ect, ect.

Do I find women who play golf attractive....absolutely. Do I find Danika Patrick attractive, sure. Do I like women who can drive s stick betcha. Do I like chicks with tattoos....yup, love em.

Any women who plays "man" games and really wants to be successful is attractive. Not because they are doing it, it's because they enjoy it and do it for the game and not to portray themselves as hip and cool so guys will like them.


I hope I addressed at least 5% of your question. :)


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