As freethinkers, we should be aware that just because a woman can beat you in softball, doesn't make her any less "feminine".


I came across a thread this morning on the topic, and the things the men listed irked me to no end. Examples: tattoos, cursing, smoking, being able to be her own auto mechanic, short hair, being drunk, etc etc etc. Now, I don't know about the other ladies of the A|N, but I personally love having tattos, cursing (within "reason"), and being drunk (though I rarely drink).


But what is femininity?


Men and women, I want your thoughts!

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Femininity doesn't exist. It is typhos along with all those other things that are only stored in volatile cultural memory.

Strength of character seems to have made it onto the lists of many women in my area as a masculine and anti-feminine trait. To me such a trait doesn't even go the masculinity/femininity axis but on the respect axis, determining how soon I stop being able to stand being around someone regardless of their genitals.

Femininity, masculinity, and respectfullness--throwing in respect as another example--are purely subjective, depending heavily on the values of the normalization constants on the items being added up that make up the value for some some instance of whatever thing.
One thing I would really love to get the bottom the overwhelming preference that men have for long hair on a woman. I have some ideas, and they are all sexual in nature. But I'd like to know if there is something more to it. I know some men like short hair. But to those who are hardwired for the long hair, I really wonder why that is. It could be because it is a seemingly unfeminine look.
My money is that it was easier for them to drag us around if we had long hair back in cavemen days. :3

Other than that, it would be that long healthy hair would be a sign of a healthy person, one of many signs of fertility.
Well, yes, and no. Don't forget that lice were still a problem then. And many cultures emphasized cutting hair as a sign of grieving.
Breast-lice? Oh, I get it.

Not all militaries went for the clean-shaven look. The cossacks used to have great big beards. Stuff would get stuck in their beards while they were eating, and that way they'd have field rations for later.
Long hair on a woman, especially when it's just a little bit out of control (the "just been fucked" look) I think is kind of wild and sensual. Healthiness also has a lot to do with it.

Now I'm thinking of hairstyles in the 1940s and 50s, though...mostly hair was somewhere around chin length, and very controlled.
>>>>>Crawls out from under "her" rock< like a tortoise does.... unfeminine!?

Is that why we need the "T" in trans? From the lgbTTTT, there are people, me included who are not Lesbian, Gay or Bi-sexual... we are different, as different as "diversity itself", my kids know I am a female anatomically, but they nor I see myself as feminine, nor masculine. They see me just simply as Paw-paw, or Pops or Dad! My own see me as their mom. Nephews/Nieces see me as "Auntie/Uncle" because we have given rise to the anatomical effects, call them stereotypes or what have you they are labels we use to ID a sex and that is just wrong, IMO we need better verbiage that is uni-sex, like handicapped bathrooms.

I try to find balance in my "T-Life" as many other Trans People do and we need to speak up but not dissuade anyone who has grown comfortable with labels... remember the person who gave birth to a baby after having a sex re-assignment "he/she" gave birth and obviously had to think a lot of things through to come to what was a profound conclusion.

I discovered... C. Jung's philosophy as a child and he gave me something that only a few had touched on... human sexuality was either male or female regardless of what it's gender was. He spoke of the "animus" as being a female with male energy/identity.

Maybe that is what got me to thinking about using that "label" as my new moniker... "ANIMUS" here is a sample of what I discovered at 12, the time of my pubescent years... what I read into or from is his works... it basically said what I already knew why was I having dreams of my penis being cut off and a clitoral portion being left there in it's place? At 12 to me it meant that they know you're a boy but they won't tell you that just yet so they try to turn you into a girl by teaching you to do all the girl things and keep you from the boy things. Why is that? They called me a Tomboy when in fact I was a TOM CAT!!!

Nikki Giovanni was one person I saw that gave me hope and ended my attempts at suicide, when I discovered her and her poetry I immersed myself into poetry and wrote like a madman/woman. I channeled my energies in the wrong direction it was why I was so angry there were things I felt helpless and powerless and it seemed so unfair that the undue sufferings were from those that knew me not. My English teacher and my Math teacher saw that anger and tried to re-route it towards further education.

People live their lives in "INVISIBLE... Ralph Ellison mode" from the scorn. "T" there are others and just speaking of why fem? We find comfort from the gay community that is openly diverse. LABELS cause more children to commit suicides from our lack of overstandings. Just my thoughts, not pissing on cotton.... Crawls back under his rock>>>>
I know transgenders who use "zee" and "zer" in an effort to be rid of the gendered language. Although, it does go much deeper than just basic pronouns. We, as a western culture, have an overemphasis on placing people into very clear categories. Sexes only have two types. Genders should only have two types. >.X Those who don't fit need to find a way to make themselves fit. So we change intersex children with operations before they are capable of deciding for themselves who/what they want to be. And transgenders get a lot of bias for refusing to fit a very black and white paradigm. A large portion of it, though, is based on religion determining for us that women should act like women, and men should act like men. And your behaviors should match the genitals God gave you. If you're not happy the way you are, tough, our God is right and you're wrong. >.X

I was thinking of doing an hour-long lecture on gender issues beyond male/female at my university a couple weeks ago at a Crisis Intervention Training we offer to the public once a year, but as I just moved to L.A., did not know any major resources. Maybe I could next year, although, I'd also like to do one on the death penalty.
Keep me posted, please! Back to my cave... >>>rocks!
I know a lot of polyamorous, bisexual, and pansexual people, too, who use gender-neutral pronouns. I think the problem is that there isn't one standard system, and people who don't use them seem to be very resistant.

A discussion of gender beyond male/female somewhere on the site would be great. I've been beating my head against that brick wall ever since I joined.
I would definitely be interested in that discussion! Viewpoints outside the male/female spectrum.



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